Parshas Ki Seitzei

Thank You??!!

 

“Do not despise the Edomite, for he is your brother; do not despise the Egyptian, for you were a stranger in his land.” (Devarim 23:8)

There is a famous story about a German gentile boy who grew up with his mother. He studied about the Holocaust and decided to travel to Israel to do more research at Yad Vashem. In Israel, he became attracted to Judaism and converted to Judaism. He was now known as Avraham. Avraham became engaged to a Jewish girl who had also converted. Avraham invited his mother to come from Germany to attend the wedding. Before the wedding, he persistently questioned his mother about his father. She finally told him the truth. His father was a former Gestapo agent who had murdered thousands and thousands of Jews. After the war, he was caught, tried, and sentenced to life in prison. Avraham was shocked beyond belief at this news. He told his mother that he never again wanted to hear about his father. A few years later. Avraham’s mother called him and said that he must come to Germany immediately to see his father who had only weeks to live. At first, Avraham refused. Then, he said he would go on the condition that he could bring his two children with him. His children, with their peyos around their ears, would show his father that he had failed in his attempt to exterminate the Jewish People. Avraham’s mother agreed. Avraham was exceedingly angry when he saw his father, a murderer of thousands. Finally, Avraham asked his father if he had ever done anything good. After all, why else would he have merited to have two Jewish grandchildren? His father replied that his job was to go into the Jewish section of towns and round up all the Jews, including women and children. He would have them brought to the center of town where they were shot to death. One time, his commander told him to check a barn behind a building. Avraham’s father went inside the barn and noticed two sets of eyes peering at him from under a haystack. He realized that these were from Jewish children who were hiding. He told Avraham that for some unknown reason, which he still did not understand, he pretended that the children were not there. He told his commanding officer that there were no Jews in the barn, thus sparing their lives. Now Avraham understood why his evil father merited to have two Jewish grandchildren. (Rabbi Zecharya Wallerstein zt”l on Torah Anytime.com)

The Torah says that we should not despise an Egyptian, “for you were a stranger in his land.” (Devarim 23:8) Therefore, “Children who will be born to them, in the third generation, may enter into Hashem’s community.” (ibid:9) Only a third-generation Egyptian convert may marry a Jew. [The Torah mentions certain peoples who, if they convert to Judaism, are still forbidden to marry a Jew for a specified number of generations. Rabbi Yosef ben Yitzchok Bekhor Shor was a French tosafist of the 12th century. He points out that this law does not apply nowadays. While King Sancherev of Assyria was trying to conquer the world, he displaced nations. Each nation that he conquered, he moved out of their land to other countries. Eventually, it became difficult to know anyone’s ancestry (other than the Jews), including who a true Egyptian was. Therefore, an Egyptian convert, as well as other converts, would be permitted to marry a Jew right away because of the Talmud’s rule דכל דפריש מרובא פריש].

Logically, we should hate Egyptians and never permit them to marry a Jew. After all, the Egyptians were exceedingly cruel in the way that they subjugated us. They even threw our firstborn baby boys into the river to drown! Yet, the Torah says that the third generation of an Egyptian convert is permitted to marry a Jew. Why? Rashi says because the Egyptians hosted us in our time of need. Rabbeinu Bachya adds that the fact remains that at a crucial point in our history Egypt offered a home to our people. They welcomed Yaakov’s family and gave them food during the famine.  Da’as Zekanim says that the Jews were welcome and well-treated residents in their country for many years.

The Talmud (Bava Kama 92B) brings Rava who asked Rabba bar Mari for the source of the statement, “If there is a well that you drank from, do not throw a stone into it.” Rabba bar Mari said that the source is our pasuk!  “You shall not abhor an Edomite, for he is your brother; you shall not abhor an Egyptian, because you were a stranger in his land”. Since you dwelled in their lands, you may not cause them harm. We see from this the requirement that the Torah places upon on to show gratitude for favors done for us.

The Netziv says in Ha’emek Davar that this is a characteristic of a refined soul. It makes us better people when we pay back the good that is done to us. And for this reason, Hashem trained us with this mitzvah.

Rav Avraham Pam zt”l points out (Messages from Rav Pam by Rabbi Sholom Smith) that the Egyptian hospitality lasted for a long period of time, for almost 100 years. With Pharoah’s permission, Yosef settled his family in the city of Goshen. The Jewish People multiplied from 70 people to a nation of millions. Out of gratitude for that, we accept their 3^rd generation converts in marriage to a Jew.

We learn something very important from this. A small measure of good is not discounted by a large measure of bad (and vice versa). Although the Jews suffered greatly at the hands of the Egyptians, we can not overlook the years that they showed us much kindness.

Rabbi Pam zt”l takes this idea to teach us an important lesson for life. If someone does you a favor, you owe him a debt of gratitude. Even if that person stops helping you or causes you pain, you are still obligated to show him gratitude! At times, friends and even spouses get angry at one another because of one rude remark or thoughtless action. What about all the good that they have done? We are not permitted to forget all that good! We should focus on the good that they have done for us and minimize our focus on the bad. If we take this lesson to heart, peace will flourish, and we will be happier!

Rav Dessler zt”l  (quoted in Talelei Oros by Rabbi Yissachar Dov Rubin) adds that if we must show gratitude to the Egyptians, then consider how much greater is our obligation to show gratitude to those who do favors for us without causing us any suffering!

It is a mitzvah to maintain an attitude of gratitude! That attitude will bring us much happiness in life.

 

Parshas Ki Seitze

Don’t Be Too Late!

 

 

“Seek Hashem while he may be found, call upon him while he is near. Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts, and let him return to Hashem, and He will have mercy upon him….” (Yeshayahu 55:6-7)

Rabbi Eliezer learns from psukim in the Torah that a teacher should teach the lessons to his students, as much as four times. The Talmud (Eruvin 54B) continues to tell us about a Rabbi who showed extreme patience. Rabbi Perida had a certain student who was a weak learner. As a result, he always taught the lesson four hundred times until the student would understand. One day, someone came and asked Rabbi Perida to be involved in a particular mitzvah as soon as he would complete his lesson. Rabbi Perida taught his student four hundred times as usual, but this time the student did not successfully learn the material. Rabbi Perida asked him why this time was different. Why didn’t he grasp the lesson? The student replied that when he heard that Rabbi Perida was needed after the shiur, his mind was distracted from the lesson. Every moment, he was thinking that Rabbi Perida was about to leave and would not be able to finish the lesson. Rabbi Perida calmed the student and said that he was going to reteach the lesson right away and was not going to leave until he completed the lesson. Rabbi Perida then retaught the lesson an additional four hundred times!

One Shabbos, Rabbi Yaakov Aryeh Neiman z”l, Rosh Yeshiva of Or Yisrael Yeshiva in Petach Tikva, visited Rabbi Moshe Rosenstein z”l, the mashgiach of the Lomze Yeshiva. Rabbi Rosenstein was in the middle of testing a boy, from his yeshiva, in Chumash. Rabbi Neiman was curious and asked whose child this was. Rabbi Rosenstein responded that the child was Hashem’s child!

Rabbi Neiman was impressed with this answer. He wrote in his sefer, Darchei Mussar, that this is a very important lesson for everyone who teaches children. The educator must always be aware that he is teaching Torah to the child of the King of Kings, Hashem. With this thought constantly in mind, the educator will be imbued with more patience and more love towards the children. Rav Neiman felt that such patience as Rav Perida had shown must have resulted from his feeling that he was teaching the children of Hashem. (Yalkut Lekach Tov by Rabbi Yaakov Yisroel Beifus)

The Talmud (Eruvin 54B) continues that due to the merit of Rabbi Perida’s great devotion to his students, a Divine Voice emerged and said that he would merit an excessively long life. [He actually was given the choice for four hundred years to be added to his life, or that he and the rest of his generation would merit the World-to-Come. He preferred the latter. Hashem rewarded him with both]

In his commentary, Ben Yehoyada, the Ben Ish Chai zt”l explains that this special reward was not for Rabbi Perida’s daily patience. Rather, Rabbi Perida was rewarded specifically for this one time. Why? It would have been totally normal for Rabbi Perida to feel anger or resentment. Most people would become upset if their effort of teaching a lesson so many times had been totally wasted. Not only did Rabbi Perida not feel anger, but when he repeated the lesson another 400 times, he did so with a with joy that even radiated to his face.

The Alter of Slabodka, Rav Nosson Tzvi Finkel zt”l saw that one of his students was not having success in his learning. The Alter fasted and davened for his student to succeed.

The Talmud (Shabbos 119B) quotes Rav Yehuda in the name of Rav, “What is the meaning of that which is written (Tehillim 105:15) ‘Do not touch My anointed ones and do My prophets no harm” (16:22)? ‘Do not touch My anointed ones,’ refers to the schoolchildren, who are as precious and important as kings and priests (Maharsha), ‘and do not harm My prophets,’ refer to the Torah scholars. Reish Lakish said in the name of Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi that the world only exists because of the Torah learned by schoolchildren. And Reish Lakish said in the name of Rabbi Yehuda Nesia that one may not interrupt schoolchildren from studying Torah, even to build the Temple!”

Rav Avraham Pam zt”l asks (Messages from Rav Pam by Rabbi Sholom Smith) what if one is a teacher or a mechanech who devoted much time and energy into a student and was not successful? One would likely feel discouraged, as if one’s efforts were all wasted. To answer that, Rav Pam has a message from this week’s parsha. (Devarim 13:7,11)

There is a severe punishment to one who tried to persuade someone else to worship other gods. The Torah tells us not to show him compassion and not to look for legal loopholes to save him from the death penalty of stoning. The Alter of Kelm zt”l learns an important lesson from this. This person is punished solely for his efforts. Even if he was unsuccessful in his persuasion, he is still punished severely! How much more we can expect Hashem to reward us for our efforts of trying to bring a Jew closer to Hashem! Hashem will reward the teacher for his efforts, even if, through no fault of his own, he is unsuccessful. Furthermore, says Rav Pam, a person does not know the long-range result of his efforts. The teacher planted and watered a seed. It may take a long time before something grows. Be’ezras Hashem, when it does, it will be evident that his efforts WERE successful!

A very important message to educators and to parents is that the children whom we guide and teach are also Hashem’s children. If we can absorb that message, we will be more patient and more understanding. Also, we should not become discouraged if it seems as if our efforts were wasted. Sometimes, it takes time before our efforts are realized. G-D willing, we may yet see the beautiful fruits of our labors!

 

Parshas Ki Tetzeh

Act Like Royalty and Receive the Most Magnificent Clothing!

“For Hashem is moving within your camp to save you and to defeat your enemies before you, so your camp must be holy; let Hashem not see within you, disgraceful objects lest Hashem turn away from you.” (Devarim 23:15)

The Torah tells us that within our army encampment we must maintain holiness to continue Hashem’s protection. The Chofetz Chaim zt”l  (in Geder Olam Perek 6, as quoted in Biurei Chofetz on the Torah compiled by Rabbi Nachum Meir Yaakov Weinrab) says a very powerful parable on this pasuk. There was a dealer in precious stones who lived in the capital city. He and his wife both worked in the business. He would often travel to far-away places to buy precious stones and then send them to his wife to sell. One day, the officers of the king came to their store, looking for very precious jewels for the king’s crown. The wife said that it would befit the king’s crown to have the most exquisite jewels. She did not have those jewels in the store, but she would send a letter to her husband to purchase them. The king’s officer promised the woman a huge reward for getting the gems. They cautioned her to be very sure that the gems were genuine. The king would be receiving his crown at a coronation ceremony with many other kings in attendance. Many of the other kings were gem experts. If they were to notice a fake gem in the king’s crown, it would be a huge embarrassment for the king. If that were to happen, the king would severely punish the officers as well as the gem dealers. The wife assured the officers that she and her husband were careful to sell only genuine gems. The wife sent her husband a letter to buy the finest gems for the king’s crown. The husband sent back a letter in response. He said that he had bought the finest gems and that he would be sending them to his wife. He had checked their authenticity with a few experts. However, the responsibility of being placed in the king’s crown was a very fearful thought. Therefore, he cautioned his wife to be extra careful and have the gems checked by a few of her local experts to ensure that they were genuine. When the wife received the precious gems along with the letter, she was very excited. She couldn’t wait to receive a handsome reward in addition to the great honor that the king would bestow on her. She ignored her husband’s warning and assumed that the checking for authenticity that he had done was sufficient. She sent a message to the king’s officers that she had received the beautiful gems. They came to get them and rewarded her handsomely. At the coronation, the king was very proud, telling the other kings that he had even bought precious gems from a far-away country to adorn his crown. To his disbelief and great embarrassment, the other kings told him that the gems were counterfeit! The woman who had sold the gems to the king was imprisoned.  She argued that it wasn’t her fault since she had told her husband to make sure the gems were genuine.  Her husband, who meanwhile had returned home, was also imprisoned. He said that the gem experts to whom he had shown the gems had fooled him. And, anyway, he had told his wife to have them checked by local experts before selling them to the king. The officers screamed at the husband, blaming him for relying on his wife and not being diligent enough to ensure that he had totally confirmed their authenticity. The husband and wife were both thrown into prison where they were inflicted with terrible suffering. The husband and wife each blamed each other for the terrible situation that they were in.

 

The Chofetz Chaim zt”l used this parable to explain the following: One’s Torah learning and performance of mitzvos creates jewels which are placed into crowns to adorn Hashem. When one passes away and goes to Olam Haba, he is adorned with those very same crowns which were formed by his mitzvos and Torah learning. However, if a mitzvah is done in a manner lacking holiness, then in place of a beautiful gem, a dark spot is placed on Hashem’s crown. If one learns Torah or says a bracha, a blessing, while facing a woman who is not modestly attired, even his own wife, then his Torah learning or bracha does not become holy. Instead of a brilliant light, in the place of a beautiful gem, there is a place of darkness in the crown. This is a blight on Hashem’s crown, and it is embarrassing in front of the heavenly retinue. After this man and woman pass on, the angels will scream that their souls should receive terrible punishments for their actions which disgraced the King of Kings, Hashem. At the time of judgement, people try to deflect the blame. The wife will blame her husband who recited the bracha while facing her when immodestly attired.  The husband will blame his wife for sitting opposite him, dressed immodestly, while he was saying a bracha, and for ignoring his request to dress appropriately at that time. The angels will tell the husband that he should have moved to another place or at least turned away while reciting the blessings. Both husband and wife will be punished for disgracing Hashem instead of showing honor to Hashem. The angels will take them to receive harsh punishments. The wife will turn to her husband in tears, blaming him for not being more careful. She will tell him that he should have warned her about the severity of her sin. Had she realized, she would have dressed differently. The husband will respond by blaming his wife. He had told her numerous times that what she was doing was wrong. Yet, she desired to look beautiful in front of others and wanted to copy her friends who dressed inappropriately.

The Chofetz Chaim zt”l ends by saying that we should be wise and forewarned. A husband should constantly remind his wife about the importance of not being immodestly dressed in front of any man who is learning Torah or saying a bracha. Every woman should do all that she can do ensure that this not happen.

Rav Elchonon Wasserman zt”l (in sefer Kovetz Ma’amarim, quoted in Talelei Oros by Rabbi Yissachar Dov Rubin) says that a woman should always be dressed modestly. Rav Elchonon zt”l often spoke about the terrible persecution suffered by European Jews, especially those in Poland and Lithuania, between World War I and World War ll. It reached the point where every gentile felt that it was his birthright to kill and torture Jews.

Rav Elchonon zt”l quoted the Chofetz Chaim zt”l’s explanation for this. Hashem is the guardian of the Jews. However, when Hashem sees that the Jews are guilty of a lack of modesty and other shamefulness, Hashem removes His protection. Thus, nations become free to attack us.

It says in Sefer Tehillim (Psalms 45:14) “The king’s daughter is all glorious within: her clothing is wrought with gold.” Rashi explains that all honor awaits the King’s daughter who conducts herself inwardly with modesty. Her clothing will be more precious than the golden settings in the clothing of the Kohain Gadol.  

It is very difficult not to be influenced in our dress, even a little, by the immoral society around us. We must remember that we are the beloved of Hashem and are royalty. Great reward awaits those who can maintain appropriate standards of modesty, befitting the daughter of the king.

 

Parshas Ki Teitzei

Listen to This Secret, and Smile!

 

“You shall not see the donkey of your brother, or his ox falling on the road and hide yourself from them; you shall surely stand them up, with him.” (Devorim 22:4)

I shared this story from Rabbi Dovid Ashear in a previous dvar Torah, but it is worth repeating for this particular dvar Torah.

A woman walked into a bakery in Israel, one erev Shabbos. As she was thinking about what to buy, the salesman told her that there was a special sale, and she could get two cakes for the price of one. She liked the idea but said that she only needed one cake. He suggested that she give the second cake to someone else. She said that she could give one to her sister, but she did not have the time to bring it to her. When the salesman heard where her sister lived, he said that he lived only a few blocks away and could deliver it for her. He wrote the name and the address. She wrote a note saying, “From your sister.  Have a great Shabbos!” After Shabbos, she was surprised that her sister did not call her to thank her for the cake. She called her sister and was surprised to hear that the cake had not been delivered. The next morning, she called the bakery to find out what had happened. The salesman said that he had delivered the cake to the address she had given him, to her sister on the first floor. She said, “But my sister lives on the third floor!” Apparently, there were two people at that address with the same last name and the cake was delivered to the “wrong” person. This woman got very curious and looked in the phone book for the phone number of the person who did get the cake. She called and asked the woman who answered the phone if she had a received a cake that erev Shabbos. There was a long pause, and the sound of crying could be heard. When the woman composed herself, she said that what they got was more than just a cake. Apparently, her husband had not spoken to his sister for over 10 years because of a petty argument. When he saw the cake from “his” sister, he thought she wanted to make peace and renew the relationship. He called his sister to thank her. That phone call was the catalyst in bringing her husband and his sister back to a peaceful and loving relationship.

 

Reuven does not like Levi because Reuven feels that Levi caused him an injustice. Shalom does not like Shimon because Shimon did not speak-up to defend him. Yehudah does not like Binyamin because Binyamin did not help him when his help was needed. Zev does not like Beryl because Beryl once made fun of him. Leah is upset at Sara for not inviting her to her wedding. Nosson does not like his sister, Rochel, because of a comment that she had said about him to someone else in the family.

 

How can we unify Klal Yisroel? How can we bring peace amongst ourselves? How can we restore good feelings and friendship with one another? If we can think of a solution, we will feel a heavy burden lifted from our shoulders and we will feel much happier. Klal Yisroel will then become reunited as one.

 

Rabbeinu Bachya has a solution. The pasuk states, “You shall not see the donkey of your brother, or his ox falling on the road and hide yourself from them; you shall surely stand them up, with him.” (Devorim 22:4) You are obligated to help your brother in need. If his animal had fallen due to its heavy load, you are obligated to help him remove the load and help the animal stand. (There are many specific details about this mitzvah.)

 

Rabbeinu Bachya points out that the Torah had stated this mitzvah, previously, but with a major difference. The pasuk in Parshas Mishpatim (23:5) states, “If you see the donkey of someone you hate crouching under its burden, would you refrain from helping him? – You shall help him repeatedly.” The first time that the Torah obligates us to help, the Torah refers to the person in need as, “your enemy”. The second time that the Torah obligates us to help, the Torah calls the person in need, “your brother”. Rabbeinu Bachya learns a very important lesson from the difference in wording of these two psukim. If you assist your enemy with his falling donkey, he will eventually appreciate you and become “your brother.” He will forget the “hatred” between you and only remember the bond of love that unites brothers.

 

Rabbeinu Bachya gives us the secret formula to end hatred. Be nice to the person that you dislike. Do a favor to the one that you may hate. That will melt the feelings of hate in both of your hearts and will restore feelings of love. You will be happier and so will he. It is hard to be the one to take the first step, but it will be worth it! So many people have had their lives ruined due to arguments between friends or family members. Some of the arguments were even over minor things, but the bad feelings festered and grew.

 

Hashem loves us all, as a father loves his children. Think of how hurt a father feels when two of his children have a fight and are no longer speaking to each other.

 

Think of how happy it will make Hashem if you put in the effort to end discord between Hashem’s children. What a tremendous z’chus it will be for you and your entire family.

As Rosh Hashana approaches. what a powerful source of blessing this will be for you.

Go for it! Make yourself happy and bring blessings into your life!

 

[Go to JEPQueens.com and look in the Archives for Parshas Acharei Mos-Kedoshim. The dvar Torah titled, “Do Not Hit the Mailman”, gives another suggestion of how to help you remove the ill feelings from your heart.]