Parshas Vayetze

I Want To Believe You! But Is That Good For Me?

 

“Why did you flee in secrecy and mislead me and not tell me? I would have sent you off with festive music, with songs and drums and harps (Bereishis 31:27).”

Our forefather Yaakov had to work hard for Lavan for 14 years for the privilege of marrying Lavan’s daughters, Rochel & Leah. Afterwards, Yaakov worked for Lavan to earn a living. Lavan changed the conditions for the wages at least one hundred times. Despite that, with Hashem’s help, Yaakov became wealthy. At that point, Yaakov heard Lavan’s sons saying that Yaakov had built up his wealth from their father, Lavan. “Yaakov has taken all that was our father’s, and from that which was our father’s he has built up all this wealth (Bereishis 31:1).” Lavan accepted the loshan hara of his sons and started treating Yaakov differently (31:2). Hashem then told Yaakov that it was time to leave Lavan’s house and return home. After getting permission from his wives, Yaakov packed up his family and fled from Lavan’s house. Lavan was away, tending to his sheep, so he was unaware that Yaakov had left.

Yaakov had a good reason to flee from Lavan while Lavan was away. Sforno (31:21) says that the word ויברח, indicates departing without being pursued but being inspired by fear of damage and harm that is not imminent. Or HaChaim (31:20) says that had Lavan had the slightest notion that Yaakov intended to take his family and leave without a send-off, he would have had him watched day and night. Sforno (31:20) says that Yaakov fooled Lavan. He did not give Lavan any indication that he knew that Lavan had accepted the slander about him. Yaakov was afraid that had Lavan realized that Yaakov wanted to leave then, Lavan, with the aid of the people of his town, would have taken Yaakov’s family away from him. Yaakov verbalized this fear later, when Lavan had met up with him.  In fact, when Lavan heard that Yaakov had fled, Radak says that he formed a posse of relatives to chase after Yaakov (31:23). Hashem came to Lavan in a dream, telling him not to harm Yaakov (31:24). Clearly Lavan’s intention was to cause harm to Yaakov.

When Lavan approached Yaakov he said, “Why did you flee in secrecy and mislead me and not tell me? I would have sent you off with festive music, with songs and drums and harps (31:27).” 

Midrash Rabbah (64:8) says that Lavan attempted to persuade Yaakov to return by speaking very nicely. Lavan told Yaakov that he wanted to give him a proper sendoff, with singing and music. Lavan said that he would have liked to kiss his children and grandchildren goodbye, before they left (see Radak 31:28).  When Lavan saw that his approach was not working, he hardened his tone (see Maharzu). He told Yaakov that Yaakov had acted foolishly. Lavan said that he had the ability to harm Yaakov. The only reason that he did not do so was because Hashem told him not to (31:28, 29).  

Lavan was a very smart man. He was shrewd, deceptive, and dishonest. He was a con artist. Why did he try persuading Yaakov to return with him? Obviously, he thought that he had a good chance of succeeding in convincing Yaakov to return with him. Otherwise, he would not have bothered trying. In fact, Hashem came to Lavan in a dream saying, “Beware of attempting anything with Jacob, good or bad (31:24).” Sforno explains, “good” that Hashem warned Lavan not to try to lure Yaakov into returning with offers of benefits. Since Hashem had to warn Lavan about this, obviously Hashem knew that Lavan had the ability to fool Yaakov and convince him to return. Lavan’s promises and enticements actually had a good chance of influencing Yaakov to change his mind and return with Lavan.

This doesn’t make sense! How could Yaakov have possibly been swayed by Lavan?  Yaakov knew firsthand that Lavan was a liar, a cheater, a swindler, and a deceiver. Rashi (29:18) says that when Yaakov was about to marry Rochel, he gave her signs to identify herself because he knew that Lavan was a cheater. Sure enough, Lavan deceptively switched Rochel with Leah. Lavan changed the deal for Yaakov’s wages at least 100 times! Yaakov even verbalized that he fled from Lavan because he was afraid that Lavan would have otherwise taken away his wives and children. How could Yaakov possibly have agreed to return, putting his life and his families lives at the whim of such a crook?!

This teaches us a very powerful lesson in kochos hanefesh, the human psyche. A person, even a great person, can be led to believe and rely on promises and enticements even against his better judgement. One will often believe in a falsehood, because that is what he truly wishes would happen. He may do so, even though the person telling this to him is a proven liar. He will believe it because he wants to believe it.

There are people with whom we are associated with whom may not be good influences on us. Yet, we remain associated with them because we believe in their promises. We blind ourselves to reality and believe in them time and time again, solely because we want to believe.

We, also, are apt to succumb numerous times every day to our worst enemy, the yetzer hara, our evil inclination. The yetzer hara is a proven liar and con artist who constantly entices us to do things which will cause us harm. Yet, we still listen to his promises and enticements. We lose out in our spiritual growth and even in our true happiness because we listen to the yetzer hara even though our brain tells us not to listen. The yetzer hara makes us think that following his advice will be good for us or make us happy. He promises us things that we want to hear. Since we want them to be true, we fool ourselves into believing that the promises are true. However, his promises are empty promises. We are only deceiving ourselves, time and time again.

Don’t believe the empty promises of others if time and again they break their promises.

The yetzer hara constantly tries to get us to sin by alluring us with falsehoods that time and again are not realized, and instead, leave us unfulfilled.

 

(Base on a dvar torah by Rabbi Alter Henach Leibowitz zt”l)

 

 

 

Parshas Vayetze

Our Original Iron Dome

“He [Yaakov] reached the place and spent the night there and lay down [to sleep] in that place.” (28:11).

HaRav Chaim Kanievsky zt”l asked, “What is true life? The Torah and mitzvos are our life and length of our days. Torah is the genuine life of a Jew”.

In 1955, Lazer M. traveled from Switzerland to Israel to enroll in the great Ponevezh Yeshiva in Bnei Brak. The yeshiva already had 1,000 students. The yeshiva did not accept Lazer. Politely, he asked to be taken to meet the Rosh HaYeshiva’s wife, Rebbetzin Kahaneman. The staff members acquiesced. When Lazer saw her, he took out a letter from his pocket and showed it to her. She read the letter and told everyone to come with her to see the Rosh HaYeshiva. When Rav Kahaneman read the letter, he embraced Lazer and said that he was accepted into the yeshiva. The staff members were astonished. What was written in that letter? The story of the letter had taken place 10 years earlier. At that time, Rav Kahaneman had undergone an operation and had gone to Switzerland to convalesce. The hotel that he had gone to only had a third-floor room available. There was no elevator and it would have been difficult for the Rav to walk up and down the stairs. Six-year-old, Lazer, and his mother had a room on the first floor. When asked, they both graciously agreed to switch rooms and give the Rav their room on the 1^st floor. Rav Kahaneman’s wife was very appreciative. She wanted to show her appreciation to the little boy, Lazer. She offered to buy him chocolate or a toy, but he said that it was not necessary to give him anything. When the Rebbetzin insisted, Lazer said, “I just gave my bed to the Ponevezher Rav. I would hope that if I ever come to the Ponevezher Yeshiva, the Rav would give me a bed in his yeshiva.” The Rebbetzin was stunned at the maturity and love of Torah that young Lazer exhibited. She wrote and signed a note. The Rosh HaYeshiva signed the note as well. The note granted Lazer a place in the Ponevezh yeshiva. Lazer’s parents saved this note for more than 10 years. This was the note that Lazer had presented to the Rosh HaYeshiva and the Rebbetzin, to gain entrance into the yeshiva. Lazer continued to learn in the yeshiva for more than 10 years. (Echoes of the Maggid by Rabbi Paysach Krohn)

Our forefather, Yaakov, left his parents’ house at age 63 to run away from Esav and to find a wife. He arrived in Charan at age 77. What took him so long to reach Charan? The Midrash (Rabba 68:5) says that Yaakov made a detour. He went to learn in the Yeshiva of Shem and Ever, before continuing to Charan. Yaakov learned there for 14 years, with extreme diligence! During that time, Yaakov barely slept. He did not sleep in a bed. He merely took short naps, as needed. As Rashi explains (based on Bereishis Rabbah 68:11) that the word, ההוא, [in] that place, teaches us in that place he lay down to sleep. However, during the previous fourteen years, when Yaakov learned in the yeshiva of Shem and Ever, he never slept regularly at night. He was consistently engaged in the study of the Torah.

The Chofetz Chaim zt”l (Shmiras Halashon Sha’ar Torah; 9) asks, was this the proper time for Yaakov to be learning in yeshiva? He was already 63 and he knew that he was destined to father the 12 tribes. It was a very important mitzvah for Yaakov to go to Lavan’s house immediately to get married! The Chofetz Chaim zt”l answers that Yaakov knew Lavan would not give his daughters in marriage without receiving a lot of money in return. Meanwhile, Yaakov was penniless since Elifaz, Esav’s son, had taken all his money. Yaakov knew that he would have to remain in Lavan’s house for a long time, working for him, to earn the privilege of marrying Lavan’s daughters. Yaakov feared, correctly, the challenge of staying with Lavan for an extended time. Lavan was dishonest, deceptive, and his house was full of idols. Yaakov was concerned about the challenge of living in this impure and unholy place. Obviously, Yaakov had no choice but to stay there. Yaakov was anxious about the influence it would have on him. Yaakov knew that his only protection was to diligently learn the holy Torah. He would be unable to do so in the house of Lavan. Therefore, Yaakov stopped enroute to learn Torah with intensity and extreme diligence. He learned in this manner for 14 years, corresponding to the time that he knew that he would have to live in Lavan’s house.

The Chofetz Chaim zt”l  teaches us a lesson from Yaakov’s actions. Every father should ensure that his son be accustomed to learn Torah & perform mitzvos. The holy Torah will protect his son from impure influences. If his son would later have to serve in the king’s army, and not be able to learn, then Hashem would ensure that he would be successful and that the government officials would treat him favorably.

We live in a world and at a time in which impure influences are many and are strong. We are different than the others. We are Hashem’s chosen, holy people!

How can we safeguard our holy souls from such filth and such influences?

Diligent Torah learning is the Iron Dome that will protect us from those impure influences around us.