Parshas Yisro

You Think That You Won, But You Really Lost!

 

“And you shall teach them the statutes and the laws and shall show them the path wherein they shall walk and the action that they must perform.” (Shmos 18:20)

Two boats were on a river going in opposite directions. They came to a point in the river that was not wide enough for both to pass. If both boats pushed ahead, attempting to pass, they would crash into each other and sink. If they went, one after the other, both would pass through safely. How should the owners decide which of them should go first? If one boat was laden and one boat was not, the one that was laden should go first. If one boat was close to its destination and one boat was not, the one that was close should go first. If both boats were laden or both were close to their destinations, they should make a compromise to decide which should go first. The owner of the boat that would go first should compensate the owner of the second boat for any loss that was incurred. This story is from the Talmud (Sanhedrin 32B) which explains the pasuk, “Justice, justice, shall you follow…,” (Devarim 16:20). The first mention of “justice” is referring to judgment, and the second one is referring to compromise.

The Torah says, “And these are the judgments [hamishpatim] that you shall set before them” (Shemos 21:1). Interestingly, The Ba’al Haturim comments that the word hamishpatim, המשפטים, is a mnemonic for, הדין מצוה שיעשה פשרה טרם יעשה משפט. That is, the judge is commanded to negotiate a compromise before entering into judgment.

In this week’s Parsha, Moshe had achieved atonement for the Jewish People for the sin of the Golden Calf. That day was Yom Kippur.  Rashi says that the following day, Moshe made himself available to judge any disputes among the Jewish People. The Torah tells us that Moshe judged them from morning until evening (18:13).  Moshe’s father-in-law, Yisro, was not happy about that. He told Moshe, “You are going to wear yourself out …. You cannot do it alone (18:18).” Yisro suggested that Moshe set up a court system so that Moshe would only have to judge the more difficult cases. Yisro told Moshe, “And you shall teach them the statutes and the laws and shall show them the path wherein they shall walk and the action that they must perform (18:20).” The Talmud (Bava Metzia 30B) cites this pasuk as the source for going beyond the letter of the law in the performance of mitzvos. “The path in which they should go” refers to the letter of the law and “the deeds that they should do” refers to action beyond the letter of the law (lifnim m’shuras hadin).

 

The Talmud says in the name of Rabbi Yochanan that Jerusalem was destroyed because people insisted on enforcing their rights based on Torah law, rather than accepting the concept of going “beyond the letter of the law”. The concept of lifnim m’shuras hadin is that even in a situation where a person could take another person to court to enforce his monetary legal rights and win he should still be prepared to compromise more than the law would require. He should not always enforce his rights.

 

Ben Yehoyada is perplexed by Rabbi Yochanan’s statement. The Jews did some terrible sins. Why didn’t Rabbi Yocahanan say that Jerusalem was destroyed because of those sins? How could he say that Jerusalem was destroyed because the Jews did not go “beyond the letter of the law”? Ben Yehoyada answers true, the Jews deserved to be punished because of their serious sins. However, had the Jews treated each other by going beyond the letter of the law, then Hashem, midah keneged midah, measure for measure, would have treated them the same way. Hashem would have gone beyond the letter of the law and would not have destroyed Jerusalem!

 

This dovetails with the Talmud in Yoma 9B, which says that Jerusalem was destroyed because of sinas chinam, unwarranted hatred. Rabbi Yissocher Frand (Torah.org) explains the connection of these ideas. Sinas chinam results from a society where people are constantly taking each other to court. They may have been legally permitted to take each other to court, and they may have been 100% correct and may have won their cases, but going to court causes unwarranted hatred. There is a winner in court and a loser. The loser never forgets that he lost. That baseless hatred permeated society and caused the destruction of Jerusalem.

 

To prevent these feelings of hatred, the Jewish court advises that the two parties try to settle their dispute by compromising. They recommend this even if the court realizes that one of the parties is probably correct.

 

The Semah, one of the commentaries on Shulchan Aruch, questions why the judges are allowed to advise a person to compromise when the judges feel that one of the sides is 100 percent correct? Isn’t that acting against the Torah which forbids one to give bad advice?

The Semah answers that suggesting a compromise is giving good advice! The long-term advantage of emerging from the dispute as friends rather than enemies outweighs any financial loss. One might win the case and receive money butat t5he same time he is buying an enemy for the rest of his life.

This is what the Semah is teaching. One may likely win the case, but at the cost of acquiring an enemy for life. The best advice is to compromise!

 

The Chofetz Chaim says that this was also Yisro’s advice to Moshe. Besides suggesting a court system, Yisro wanted Moshe to teach the Jewish people the concept of ‘lifnim m’shuras hadin’. It is not always necessary to insist upon one’s rights. There is a place for, and a value in, compromise. That, in and of itself, was part of the solution to lighten the judicial burden. People would not always be running to court with every argument. They would start settling by compromise, outside of court.

 

The idea of compromise does not exclusively refer to a court case. Throughout life, we meet people who have different opinions. Even if we feel that our idea is best, we should look to compromise with others.

The willingness to compromise shows that we have respect for the opinions of others.

That will help maintain peace and will help bring Moshiach more speedily.

 

(Based largely from Rabbi Yissocher Frand on Torah.org)

 

Parshas Yisro

Strength In Numbers!

 

“They had journeyed from Rephidim and had come to the desert of Sinai and camped in the desert. Yisrael camped there opposite the mountain.” (Shmos 19:2)

The Jewish People stood at the foot of Har Sinai, ready to receive the Torah directly from Hashem. The Talmud (Shabbos 88A) says, “that the Jewish people actually stood beneath the mountain. Hashem overturned the mountain above them and said, “If you accept the Torah, excellent, and if not, you will be buried there.” Rav Acḥa bar Yaakov said that the Jewish people could claim that they were coerced into accepting the Torah, and it is therefore not binding. Rava disagreed. He said that the Jewish People had reaccepted the Torah willingly in the time of Achashverosh.

 

There are some interesting points about this. The Chofetz Chaim zt”l (Chofetz Chaim on the Torah, Shmos 19:17) says that the World exists only because of Torah. Had the Jews refused to accept the Torah, the world would have been destroyed. Every living being would have died and would been buried in the destroyed world. That is what the pasuk means, “you will be buried there”. It should have said, “you will be buried here (under the mountain)”. It is telling us that whoever is there or anywhere, will perish.

 

The Talmud gives the impression that the Jewish People were forced to accept the Torah. Tosefos asks, didn’t the Jewish People show their willingness to accept the Torah when they said, “na’ase v’nishma”, “we will do and we will hear”? If so, why was there a need to force them to accept the Torah? Rav Yaakov Kaminetsky zt”l explains Tosefos answer(Emes L’Yaakov Shmos 19:3) based on the Mishna in Pirkei Avos (1:3). Rav Yaakov Kaminetsky zt”l says that although we should serve Hashem out of love, we must also incorporate fear of Heaven into our service. We should view Hashem with awe. Both love and fear are needed to serve Hashem. Sometimes one won’t suffice. Thus, even though the Jews had already accepted the Torah from love, they had not yet been tested to determine if they would also accept it out of fear. That’s why, when the Torah was given, Hashem spoke in a very loud voice and a big fire was burning on top of Har Sinai. Hashem wanted to put fear of punishment in our hearts. The mountain was placed over our heads so that we should also accept the Torah with fear of Hashem and fear of sin.

 

What did the Jews accomplish when they reaccepted the Torah in the time of Achashverosh? Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz zt”l says a beautiful explanation which is so relevant to current events. (Sichas Mussar Ma’amar 37). The Torah (Shmos 19:2) says, “They had journeyed from Rephidim and had come to the desert of Sinai and camped in the desert. Yisrael camped there opposite the mountain.” The Torah changes from plural, “They had journeyed” to singular, “vayichan”,“Yisrael camped”. Rashi explains, “as one man and with one heart”. With unity. “All their other encampments were made in a murmuring spirit and in a spirit of dissension.” Hashem said, since the Jewish People are united, at peace, and without dissension, then it is time to give them the Torah (see the end of Derech Eretz Zuta). The Torah was not given to individuals but to Klal Yisroel as one. Although there was such a unity and oneness of Klal Yisroel, there was an even greater level of oneness when they reaccepted the Torah in the days of Achashverosh. The Jews were functioning under Haman’s edict “to destroy, massacre, and exterminate all the Jews” (Megillas Esther 3:13). At this time of all-encompassing danger, the Jews were on an exceptionally high level of unity. No one felt even the slightest ill feeling in his heart about his friend. There was not a shred of hatred or jealousy. There was simply love of each Jew for one another.

 

When the Jews first accepted the Torah on Har Sinai, even though they were “like one man with one heart”, there was still a higher, holier level that was possible to be attained. In the time of Achashverosh, that holier level was attained. The Jews reaccepted the Torah at that time. Then, the Jews were on an even greater level of unity, because of the danger to their lives. Since all their lives were in danger, any petty grievances or annoyances one Jew may have had towards his friend were no longer important as they had initially seemed. The imminent fear of death wiped clean any negative feelings that one Jew may have felt towards another. The fear of death brought the Jewish People together. The only important thing in their hearts was to daven to Hashem to save their lives!

 

October 7^th is a day that Jews will not forget. Before that date, sadly there was strife among Jews in Eretz Yisroel. Afterwards, for a long period of time, there was a great feeling of unity. Irreligious Jews and religious Jews viewed each other as family. A feeling of warmth and togetherness was fostered. The realization dawned on many, that Jews care about Jews even though many people of the world do not. There were a number of miraculous successes against our enemies during this period of unity.

 

May Klal Yisroel understand the importance of being unified and staying unified.

There is a power inherent in our unity.

May we feel this way without needing a calamity to bring us together!

 

 

Parshas Yisro

Tailor-Made

“Moshe said to his father-in-law, “Because the people come to me to seek [instruction from] Hashem.” (Shmos 18:15).

I read a story a long time ago. I don’t remember the exact details, but it is very appropriate to this dvar Torah.

A prestigious rav was invited by a town in Europe, to become their rabbi. When he arrived, the townspeople brought two people to the rav. The individuals had been having an argument and they wanted the rav to settle their dispute. The rav heard their case. He thought for a long time and finally said that the case was a sham! He said that whenever he judged a case, he felt siyata dishmaya, help from Hashem, inspiring and guiding his decision. He did not experience that feeling now so he knew that the dispute was a fabrication. As he said that, the townspeople smiled and marveled at the wisdom of their new rav.

On the day after Yom Kippur (Rashi Shmos 18:13), Moshe was judging Bnei Yisroel. Moshe’s father-in-law, Yisro, asked him, “Why are you sitting by yourself and [letting] the people stand around you from morning until evening?” Moshe replied “Because the people come to me lidrosh, to seek [instruction from] Hashem. (Shmos 18:13-15)

There are different interpretations explaining what Bnei Yisroel were asking Moshe. Targum Yonasan ben Uziel and the Kli Yakar (18:15) say that Moshe was judging disputes.

The Chofetz Chaim zt”l has a different approach. He explains that Yisro could not understand what questions the Jews could possibly have, which required Moshe’s judgements. The Jews were living in the desert. They did not own property and did not have the need to conduct any business transactions. Hashem provided them with all their needs. How could they be involved in any litigation?

Moshe told Yisro that he was correct. Currently, the Jews had no disputes that required judicial ruling.  Rather the Jews came “lidrosh”. They had wanted to clarify various laws that could come up in the future, after they were already settled in Eretz Yisroel, in their own homes. They asked various theoretical questions of what to do in different circumstances that could potentially arise.

Yisro responded to Moshe that holding court from morning until evening would tire Moshe and impact his productive leadership of Bnei Yisroel. Why would that tire Moshe? Rashi (18:13) says (quoting Talmud Shabbos, 10A) that when a judge judges a case honestly, he is considered a partner with Hashem in the creation of the world. Since he is a partner with Hashem, he will not become tired while trying to resolve the case. However, since the cases brought to Moshe were theoretical but not actual cases, then Moshe wouldn’t be getting assistance from Hashem. Thus, Moshe would have to exert himself more and would become fatigued. (Life and Works of the Chofetz Chaim, part 1 page 46. Quoted in Biurei Chofetz Chaim on the Torah by Rabbi Yisroel Yosef Braunstein)

 

In the same vein, Hashem gives us the strength to overcome any challenge that He gives us. Although the challenge may seem overwhelming, Hashem gives us the ability and strength to manage it.

Midrash Rabbah (Shmos 34:1) says that “Hashem does not make matters difficult for His creatures; He expects a person to perform according to his capacity. Hashem demonstrated this when He gave us the Torah. Had Hashem come with the full might of His strength, we would not have been able to withstand it, as it says, (Devarim 5:22) “’If we continue to hear [the voice of Hashem] anymore, then we shall die.’” This is also the meaning of the pasuk (Tehillim 29:4), “The voice of Hashem resounds with might.” It does not say “with His might,” but “with might”, which means according to the might, of each individual.

If we don’t have the strength to overcome the challenge, then Hashem does not give it to us. The Midrash Rabbah (Bereishis 25:3) notes that the famine in the days of Dovid HaMelech (Shmuel Beis 21) should have come in the days of Shaul HaMelech, as it was his sins that caused the famine. Nevertheless, it was Dovid HaMelech ‘s generation that was punished because the generation of Shaul HaMelech would not have been able to withstand it.

We say a bracha every morning, “בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ד’ אֱלֹקֵינוּ מֶֽלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, הַנּוֹתֵן לַיָּעֵף כֹּֽחַ.” Hashem gives strength to the weary. The Maharzu explains that Hashem gives us the strength to withstand challenges.

Every challenge that we get is tailor-made for us. Although challenges can be very, very difficult to bear, at some point, either later in our lives or after 120, we will understand how beneficial each challenge was. We must always remember how much Hashem loves us. We must always keep in mind that Hashem gives us the strength to withstand the challenges that He gives us.

 

Parshas Yisro

The Mission of a Lifetime!

 

“And her two sons of whom the name of one was Gershom, for he had said, ‘I was a sojourner in a strange land.’ And the name of the other was Eliezer, for ‘the G-D of my father came to my aid, and He saved me from the sword of Pharoah.’” (Shmos 18:3-4)

Moshe and Tziporah had two sons. Moshe named his first son, Gershom, because Moshe was a stranger in a strange land. Moshe named his second son, Eliezer, to commemorate the miracle of when Hashem saved him from Pharoah’s executioner.

The Chofetz Chaim zt”l  (Chofetz Chaim On the Torah) asks two questions. Firstly, Moshe should have named his first son Eliezer since chronologically Moshe was first saved before he became a stranger in the land of Midian. Secondly, what was the objective of naming him Gershom, indicating that Moshe was a stranger there?

The Chofetz Chaim zt”l answers, that when Moshe arrived at Yisro’s house, Yisro had not yet converted to Judaism. Obviously Yisro’s deeds were not yet completely refined. Moshe was concerned lest he learn from or be influenced by Yisro’s actions. That is why he called his first son’s name Gershom. Moshe wanted to make a constant reminder for himself that he was a stranger in a strange land. Moshe wanted that reminder so that he should not learn from Yisro’s deeds and certainly not learn from the deeds of the people of Midian. “Now, I am a stranger in a strange land”, thought Moshe. “In the future I will return to my source, dwelling with the Holy Presence of Hashem”. This naming was a vivid reminder to Moshe to be heedful of his actions. He could draw the strength to maintain his holiness by remembering that he was only in MIdian temporarily but eventually he would reside with Hashem.

We find a similar idea expressed by the Shelah in Parshas Va’era. The Torah (Shmos 6:14-16) says, “The sons of Reuvein…”, and then the Torah lists the sons. Then the Torah says, “The names of Shimon …”   and then the Torah states, “And these are the names of the sons of Levi ….” The Shelah questions why the Torah changed the wording when it listed the names of Levi’s sons. The Shelah says something very fascinating. Through Divine inspiration, Levi knew that his descendants would not be subject to the suffering of the enslavement, as the other tribes were. Yet, Levi wanted to show empathy for the Jewish people who would suffer from the pain of slavery. Thus, he named his children with names that would help him focus on the suffering that the Jewish people would soon undergo in Egypt. He named one son Gershon because the Jewish people were strangers in Egypt. He named the next son Kehas because the teeth of the Jews, kahu, would rot from suffering. The third son he named Merari, from the word mar, “bitter”, because the Egyptians would embitter the lives of the Jews. (Talelei Oros by Rabbi Yissachar Dov Rubin)   

 The Chofetz Chaim zt”l  (Chofetz Chaim On the Torah) closes with a beautiful parable. Imagine that you travelled thousands of miles to a different country, to purchase precious merchandise at their fair. This merchandise was not found in your country. Upon your return home, you would sell the merchandise at a nice profit. The money that you would earn would support your family for the year.  Now, imagine that while you were at the fair, involved in negotiations to buy the merchandise, someone approached you. That fellow wanted to show you a fascinating article in the newspaper or invited you to join him in a game. You would tell him in very strong terms to leave and stop annoying you. Every minute that you would waste talking to him would cause you a financial loss. You came, thousands of miles from home, leaving your family behind, to be able to provide for them for the year. You would have no time to waste on trivial, inconsequential things like reading newspapers or playing games.        

The Chofetz Chaim zt”l says that each of our souls was under Hashem’s throne. Our souls came to this world, for a short while, from millions of miles away, to learn Torah and to acquire mitzvos. That “merchandise” will be needed to support us for eternity. The yetzer hara tries to distract us from our mission, with inconsequential things. Every moment that the yetzer hara distracts us, he prevents us from earning all that we could. We must firmly send the yetzer hara away, telling him not to distract us from our life’s mission.      

 With this in mind, we should consciously decide how much time, if any, we want to spend on things like reading newspapers & playing or watching games as versus learning Torah & doing other mitzvos. Each of us must determine if it’s a relaxation to help us do more mitzvos? Or is it a distraction?   

We can use different methods to help us stay focused on our mission.

Let’s think how we can prevent the yetzer hara from distracting us from our important mission in life.

Our mission in this world is to attain as many mitzvos and as much Torah-learning as we can.

Those merits will sustain us for eternity.