Parshas Balak
Forever, Thank You!
“He [Balak] sent emissaries to Bil’am the son of Beor…. And now, please come and curse this nation for me….” (Bamidbar 22:5-6)
Rav Chaim Shmulevitz zt”l, Rosh haYeshiva of Mirrer Yeshiva, participated in the joyous occasions of his students. Whether it was a wedding, a bar mitzvah, or a bris, Rav Chaim was there. He did the same for b’nei Torah from other yeshivos who attended his weekly shiur. When he was asked why he would go out of his way for once-a-week talmidim, he replied, “I owe it to them as a matter of gratitude. They come to listen to my shiur, and I appreciate that.” In the last year of Rav Chaim’s life, when he was already weakened by age, he attended the bris of someone’s grandson. He had told his wife, “I must attend that bris! I feel such a sense of gratitude to the grandfather. After my mussar gathering, he says the Tehillim so beautifully and I am always moved by it. It is only proper that I should attend his simcha.” (In the Footsteps of the Maggid by Rabbi Paysach Krohn)
The Jewish People were on their way to Eretz Yisroel. Balak, the king of Moav, hired Bilaam to curse the Jews. Chizkuni explains that Balak hoped that after the Jewish People had been cursed, his army would be victorious in driving the Jews out of the lands of Sichon and Og that they had just captured.
Bilaam eventually failed in his attempt to curse the Jews and was killed by the sword (Bamidbar 31:8). Balak and his nation of Moav were punished severely with an eternal ban forbidding any of their male converts to ever marry Jewish women (Devarim 23:4-5).
The Torah says that any male converts to Judaism from both the nations of Ammon and Moav were eternally forbidden from marrying Jewish women. Sforno and Rabbeinu Bachya explain the reasons. After leaving Egypt, the Jews travelled in the desert. Although the Moavites sold the Jews bread and water, the Ammonites did not even do that. They totally ignored the “needs” of the Jews. Rabbbeinu Bachya says that it is elementary courtesy to offer food and drink to people who are traveling. It was irrelevant that, in reality, the Jews miraculously did not lack any of their basic needs while they were in the desert. Ammon’s actions showed an innate cruelty. That is why their males were banned. As explained earlier, the males from Moav were banned because they hired Bilaam to curse the Jews.
Ramban has a different explanation. Ramban says that Ammon and Moav owed their very existence to the kindness performed for their father, Lot, by Avraham, the founder of the Jewish Nation. Avraham had battled the mightiest kings of his time to free Lot from captivity (Bereishis 19:29). Lot was also saved from the destruction of Sodom due to Avraham’s merit. Thus, the nations of Ammon and Moav had an OBLIGATION to show appreciation to the Jews. Yet, how did they repay that favor? One of those nations failed to offer the basic necessities of life to the people who were their cousins, travelling through the desert. The other one of those nations hired the prophet Bilaam to curse the Jewish nation.
Thus, according to the Ramban, the underlying reason that the males of Ammon and Moav were forever prohibited, even if they had converted, from marrying Jewish women was their lack of gratitude. They had displayed a fundamental flaw in their characters. Their lack of gratitude showed their innate selfishness and cruelty, thus disqualifying them from marrying Jewish women.
This is astounding! How could the nations of Ammon and Moav be punished for a lack of gratitude? Avraham’s kindness to Lot occurred 400 years earlier! Yet, Lot’s descendants were still expected to show gratitude to Avraham’s descendants?! For not showing gratitude, so many years later, their males were disqualified from ever marrying Jewish women.
Conversely, King David rose at midnight every night to thank Hashem for being alive. At Naomi’s insistence, King David’s great grandmother, Rus, had gone to Boaz in the middle of the night and went to sleep at his feet. Naomi wanted Rus to make Boaz aware of an obligation to do yibum. Yibum is when a man dies without having children. Then one of his close relatives marries his widow. If they have a child, it will raise the neshama of the deceased. Boaz was a close relative of Rus’s late husband who had died childless. When Boaz awoke in the middle of the night, he was startled and troubled to find a woman sleeping at his feet. Boaz could have easily cursed Rus for her audacity of approaching him in that manner. Had Rus been cursed, King David would not have been born. In fact, the Midrash (Rus Rabba 6:1) says that it was a miracle that Boaz did not curse Rus. Hashem caused Rus to find favor in Boaz’s eyes. Every night King David awoke at midnight to thank Hashem for that.
We can understand the obligation to show gratitude to one who has done a favor for us. We can even understand the requirement to show gratitude to one who has done a favor for our father or even to our grandfather. However, one would think that an act of kindness done in the distant past has no relevance to us. The Torah’s perspective is enlightening.
An act of kindness done, should NEVER be forgotten!
Even generations later, the debt of gratitude remains!
(Based, in part, on Shabbos with Rav Pam by Rabbi Sholom Smith)
