Parshas Toldos

He Gave Him The Royal Ring!

“It is I, Eisav your firstborn. I have done as you had told me.” (Bereishis 27:19)

Our forefather Yitzchak wanted to give a blessing which would determine the destiny of Yaakov & Esav and their descendants for eternity. Yitzchak wanted to give the blessings to his first-born son, Esav. Our matriarch Rivka knew that Yaakov was the son who deserved these blessings. She told Yaakov that he should go to Yitzchak to receive the blessings. Yaakov was aghast! He was the pillar of emes, of truth. How could he be part of this subterfuge?  However, he listened to his mother and got two goats from the flock to prepare food for Yitzchak. “He [Yaakov] went, took, and brought to his mother.” Midrash Rabba (Bereishis 65:15) says that Yaakov went “compelled, coerced, and weeping”. Clearly, he did not want to do this deception. Then Yaakov said to his mother, “My father perhaps will feel me, and I shall seem to him a deceiver; and I shall bring a curse upon me, and not a blessing.” (27:12) Rivka told Yaakov not to worry. She prepared food for Yaakov to bring to Yitzchak. She gave him goatskin to put on his smooth skin to appear hairy, like Esav. She also gave him Esav’s special clothing.

When Yaakov arrived, Yitzchak asked him, “Who are you, my son?” (27:18) Yaakov gave a curious answer. He said, “It is I, Eisav your firstborn. I have done as you had told me.”  At first glance it seemed as if Yaakov’s response was not truthful. However, most commentators interpret Yaakov’s words in a way which was truthful. Rashi says that Yaakov was saying, I am he that brings food to you, and Esav is your first-born. I have done many things at different times as you had asked me. Or HaChaim and Riva (27:19) say that when Yaakov said, “I am Esav your firstborn” he meant that since he had purchased the birthright from Esav, he was now in place of Esav, entitled to the blessings as the new firstborn. Yaakov added, ” I have done as you had told me.” The reason you told Esav to hunt game, etc., was because you assumed that he was your firstborn. Mizrachi says, “I am he who brings to you and Esav is your first born.”

A while later, Yitzchak asks Yaakov, “Are you indeed my son, Esav?” (27:24) Yaakov responded, “It is I”. Again, the commentators rush to explain what Yaakov meant when he said, “I am”. Rashi says that he did not say, “I am Esav”. Rather, he said but “It is I”. The commentaries make a point of explaining Yaakov’s words to show that he did not lie. Gur Aryeh says that you must explain Yaakov’s words in this manner. It is impossible to say that Yaakov would lie. Furthermore, Hashem hates falsehood and how could Yitzchak’s blessings have been received through falsehood? Rabbeinu Bachya adds that there is no question that Yaakov spoke the truth on every occasion. This is what the prophet (Michah 7:20) emphasized when he said, “You gave truth to Yaakov.”

However, even though Yaakov did not lie, Yitzchak did get the impression that it was Esav in front of him. Wouldn’t that also show a lack of truthfulness?

Rav Henach Leibowitz zt”l points out that even misleading a person shows a lack of emes, of truthfulness. How was Yaakov permitted to mislead Yitzchak? The Talmud (Sanhedrin 92A) quotes Rabbi Elazar who says that anyone who amends the truth in his speech, is considered as though he worships idols. Maharsha brings a story from Sefer Haikarim. Once, a sinner who was also a robber wanted to repent. However, he was not prepared to accept upon himself the multitude of mitzvos that are in the Torah. A wise man told him to accept upon himself never to lie. That, the robber accepted. Some time passed and the robber was on his way to rob. He met a man along the way. The man asked him where he was going. The robber remembered that he accepted upon himself not to lie, so he told the man that he was on his way to rob someone. Soon after, he met another man and told him the same thing. Then the robber realized that there were two potential witnesses against him. He decided not to rob. Little by little, this strategy of telling the truth led him to leave his evil ways.

When asked where he was going, couldn’t the robber have answered that he was going to a certain place without saying that he was going there to rob someone? Apparently, that would have given the misimpression that he was going to that place to do something appropriate. Even though he would not have been lying outright, since the listener would have mistakenly assumed from his words that he was going to do something appropriate, that would have been considered a lack of truth. Clearly, giving someone a false impression is considered lying.

We see another facet of lying from the famous story involving King Shlomo (I Kings 3:16-27). Two women came to him, each claiming to be the mother of a baby. Apparently, one of the mothers had accidentally smothered her baby. The second mother claimed that in the middle of the night the first mother had switched her dead baby with the second mother’s live one. Each of the women was claiming the live baby. Shlomo judged and said, “Cut the live child in two, and give half to one and half to the other.” (pasuk 25). Based on the responses of the two women, Shlomo determined who the real mother was. “Give the live child to her,” he said, “and do not put it to death; she is its mother.” (pasuk27). The Talmud (Makos 23B) asks, how could Shlomo have said with certainty “she is its mother”? Perhaps the other mother had tricked him. The Talmud answers that Shlomo did not say “she is its mother”. Rather, those words were stated by a bas kol, by a Heavenly voice, for all to hear, to affirm that the action taken by King Shlomo was correct.

 Shlomo was the wisest of all men and he had many clear proofs as to who the true mother was. Rabbi Henach Leibowitz zt”l asked, if that was the case then why couldn’t Shlomo himself say the words, “she is its mother”? It must be that although Shlomo had so many indications who the mother was, since there was the remotest possibility that the woman was deceiving Shlomo, he did not have the right to say 100% that this was the mother. That would have been a lack of truth. Although he had the right to determine the law and give the baby to that woman, he did not have the right to say, “she is its mother”. We see that it would be considered a lack of truth to say something as a fact if there was the remotest possibility that it was not true.

This would be a question according to the commentaries who explain how Yaakov’s words were truthful. Yaakov gave Yitzchak the impression that he was Esav. Shouldn’t that have been considered a lack of truth?!

Radak and others say that Yaakov did not want to deceive his father. Torah Temima adds that Yaakov only did so to follow his mother’s command and because his mother also had a prophecy from Hashem that Hashem wanted Yaakov to receive the blessings. The Ramban says that this episode was orchestrated by Hashem for Yaakov to receive the brachos.

Clearly Yaakov acted accordingly to honor his mother and follow Hashem’s instruction. The question is, why did Hashem specifically want Yaakov to receive these blessings in a manner which seemed deceitful?

Rav Yaakov Kaminetsky zt”l  (Emes L’Yaakov) says that Hashem gave each of our forefathers major tests to merit eternal reward of a true father of the Jewish People. Avraham had 10 tests which went against his nature of kindness. This was Yaakov’s test which was against his nature. Yaakov was a man of truth. Hashem tested him to see if he would go against his nature if that was what Hashem wanted. That would show that all of Yaakov’s actions were for the sake of Hashem.

Another answer is given by the Derashos HaRan (5) which is quoted by Rav Avraham Pam zt”l (Rav Pam on Chumash by Rabbi Sholom Smith). The Ran says that Hashem orchestrated events in this manner to create a fraternal hatred of Esav and his descendants to Yaakov & his descendants. “Esav hates Yaakov” is a fact of life (Rashi Vayishlach 33:4 quoting a Midrash). Esav has eternal hatred because of his perception that Yaakov took the blessings that he was supposed to get. The purpose of this eternal hatred is to provide a control on Yaakov. If the Jewish nation would slacken in their service to Hashem, then Esav would persecute and torture them to force them to return to the ways of our forefathers. In fact, Esav’s persecutions have accomplished more to bring the Jews back to Hashem than the rebukes of the greatest prophets. The Talmud (Megillah 14A) says that the act of Achashverosh giving his signet ring to Haman, to seal the decree of extermination of the Jews, accomplished more to bring the Jewish People to repentance than the rebukes of our 48 greatest prophets!

Our souls originate from beneath Hashem’s throne, a place of purity, where there is no falsehood (Orchos Tzadikim, Gate of Truth). Let us try to retain that holiness by only telling the truth

and not giving others a misimpression, which is also considered a lack of truth.

Parshas Toldos

Clothes Make the Man-and the Woman!

“Rivka took the garments of Esav, her elder son, [the garments] that were precious [to him] that she had in her house, and put them on Yaakov, her younger son.” (Bereishis 27:15)

The traveler was weary and hoped to get a hot meal from a kind-hearted person in the town. He noticed a beautiful mansion on the edge of town and was hopeful that he would get a meal there. He knocked on the door which was opened by the owner. When the homeowner saw the stranger in his tattered clothes and rags he said, “Sorry but we don’t serve beggars here.”  The traveler knocked on the door of another house where he was welcomed and served a hot meal. A few years later, Beryl, a wealthy and respected man came to town. All the townspeople wanted the honor of hosting him for a meal. They all begged Beryl to be their guest. The rich man who lived in the beautiful mansion at the edge of town begged him incessantly until he agreed to come to his home. The rich man was so happy. He was prepared to serve a sumptuous meal with many courses. During the feast, Beryl acted very strangely. During each course, instead of eating he put the food onto his clothes. Overcome by curiosity, the rich man finally asked Beryl why he was doing that. Beryl’s response taught the rich man a very important lesson. Beryl said that he had assumed the invitation to dinner was just for Beryl’s clothes and not for Beryl himself. After all, when Beryl visited this man a few years ago, wearing tattered clothing, he was not invited into the house. Now, that he was wearing fancy clothing he was invited. He was the same person and the only difference was the type of clothes that he was wearing, Thus, he said that he assumed the dinner invitation was just for his clothes.

Scientific studies show that the clothes we wear largely affect how we think and act. They affect our behavior, attitudes, personality, mood, confidence, and even the way we interact with others. In one study, the participants were given white coats to wear. Some participants were told that they were wearing painters’ smocks while others were told that they were wearing doctors’ coats. Research published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, showed that those who were told that they were wearing a doctor’s white coat had a higher level of concentration than those who were told that they were wearing painter’s smocks.  Researchers also found that if we dress for a particular role, we will start to live it. In a study reported by the Journal of Experimental Psychology, subjects were required to wear formal and informal clothing in negotiation meetings. Those who wore business suits performed much better, as they asserted dominance over the person with whom they were negotiating.

Of course, the Torah knew this fact thousands of years before the scientific studies.

Our forefather Yitzchak wanted to bless his firstborn son before he died. He sent his first-born son, Esav, to hunt an animal, prepare a meal for him and then come to receive the bracha. Unbeknownst to Yitzchak, Yaakov rightfully deserved the bracha because he had previously purchased the birthright from Esav. The Ohr HaChaim (Bereishis 27:8) says that Rivka knew prophetically that Yaakov was the one who deserved the bracha. She prepared a meal for Yitzchak and told Yaakov to bring it and then receive the bracha for himself. She placed the skins of young goats on Yaakov’s hands and the smooth part of his neck in order that he should appear hairy like Esav. The commentaries explain why Yaakov was permitted and required to do this seeming subterfuge of pretending to be Esav to receive the bracha from Yitzchak.

Rivka then gave Yaakov Esav’s “precious garments” to wear. The Da’as Zekanim says that these garments had pictures of all the animals and birds in the world painted on it. The animals appeared to be alive. Whenever the wearer walked in the field, the animals were attracted to the pictures and approached the wearer, making them easy prey for the hunter. The Midrash (Bereishis Rabba 65:16) says that Esav had taken these garments from King Nimrod when he had killed him.

What did Rivka hope to gain by clothing Yaakov in these special garments of Esav? Yitzchak was blind and would not even see Yaakov’s attire! It must be that Rivka wanted Yaakov to feel as if he was Esav, since one’s clothing affects one’s thoughts and actions.

It seems from this Da’as Zekanim that had Yaakov not worn these special garments, his actions would not have been like those of Esav. Then, Yitzchak would have discovered that it was Yaakov. Yaakov’s mission of getting the brachos would have failed. Yaakov had a lot to gain by receiving the brachos. He also had a lot to lose if Yitzchak would have realized that he was not Esav. Yitzchak might have cursed him for attempting to misleading him. Yet, since Esav’s actions were so different than Yaakov’s, Yaakov’s mission would have failed had Yaakov not worn Esav’s special garments. Those garments made him feel like Esav and he was able to act accordingly.

We see how much our thoughts and actions are influenced by the way we dress.

That is why it is so important to dress as a Jewish man and a Jewish woman should.

Based on a dvar Torah by Rabbi Henach Leibowitz zt”l as recorded in sefer Chidushei Lev by Rabbi Binyamin Luban

I am left with a question. According to this, while wearing Esav’s clothes, Yaakov’s actions should have been just like Esav. Yet, when Yaakov came to Yitzchak (Bereishis 27:19), he spoke gently, “Please sit up”. When Esav came, he spoke gruffly, “Let me father sit up”. Furthermore, when Yitzchak questioned how Yaakov was able to come to him so quickly, Yaakov said that Hashem had sent him good fortune (Bereishis 27:20). Esav would not have invoked Hashem’s name. Those two comments of Yaakov almost caused his mission to fail as Yitzchak knew that Esav did not normally speak this way (see Rashi 27:21 and Bechor Shor on pasuk 26). Maybe you can say that although what you wear affects your thoughts and actions, perhaps it does not affect your speech. Possibly, since the way you speak is so much a part of who you are, that it is not fully affected by the way that you dress.  Therefore, it is so important to actively choose a refined manner of speech.