Parshas Vayechi

YOU Did It, Now YOU Fix It!

“And Yaakov’s days were drawing near to death and he called his son Yosef and said to him, ‘…Do not bury me in Egypt.’” (Bereishis 47:29)

As Yaakov’s end was drawing near, he asked Yosef to bury his body in the Land of Israel.

Why did Yaakov specifically ask Yosef instead of asking all his sons?

Rashi answers that since Yosef was in a position of authority in Egypt, he had the ability to fulfill Yaakov’s request.

Abarbanel quotes the Midrash as saying, “a very beautiful reason”. The Midrash explains, Yosef was the one who sent for his father to come to Egypt and Yosef aided his coming. Yaakov commanded Yosef to return him to the place where he took him from. “It was as if Yaakov said, since you brought me here from the Land of Israel it is appropriate that you return my body there, after I die.”

It seems that the Midrash is saying that it was proper derech eretz (conduct), it was the right thing for Yosef, himself, to be the one to ensure that Yaakov’s body be returned where it came from.

Having derech eretz precedes learning Torah.

Moshe Rabainu asked the Jewish People if they would be willing to accept the Torah. They replied, certainly we will. Moshe reported their answer to Hashem. Hashem knows all-Why did Moshe have to report the answer if Hashem already knew it? Moshe was teaching a lesson in derech eretz. If someone sends you on a mission it is appropriate to report back to them, even if you are aware that they already know the answer.

Rav Yisroel Salanter (founder of the modern mussar movement) was invited to his student’s house for Shabbos. He asked the student to describe what his Shabbos meal was like. The student described the lengthy meal that was punctuated with much singing and many words of Torah. Rabbi Yisroel gave the student an unhappy look. At the Shabbos table, Rabbi Yisroel had a quick meal and said the grace after meals. The student was perplexed, wondering why Rabbi Yisroel did this. He followed Rabbi Yisroel as he entered the kitchen. The Jewish maid in the kitchen thanked Rabbi Yisroel and told him that she wished he would come every Shabbos. Apparently, she had to work very hard the entire Friday to prepare the house for Shabbos. The meal would last so long that she would be exhausted when she came home. She was so happy that this Friday night the meal ended much earlier. Rav Yisroel exhibited proper conduct. He sacrificed the additional holiness of much singing and words of Torah for the feelings and sensitivities of another person.

We always must consider the feelings and sensitivities of others who may be affected by our actions.

Parshas Vayigash

“Hold your Horses” on Those Wagons!

“And Yaakov left Be’er Sheva and his sons carried him… in the wagons which Pharaoh had sent to carry him.” (Bereishis 46:5)

In a previous parsha, Yaakov had exhibited a high level of honesty when he watched Lavan’s animals. Lavan had changed the details of Yaakov’s wages 10,000 times. Yet Yaakov continued to watch Lavan’s flocks as carefully as he could. He didn’t rationalize that if this is how my employer treated me then I don’t have to do my job carefully.

Here too, Yaakov teaches us the level of honesty that we must strive to follow. Pharaoh gave Yosef wagons to send back to the Land of Israel to transport Yaakov and his family to Egypt. Yaakov and his family travelled to Be’er Sheva. The pasuk does not mention Yaakov’s mode of transportation. Only after Yaakov left Be’er Sheva to go down to Egypt does the pasuk mention that Yaakov travelled in the wagons that Pharaoh had sent. Apparently, Yaakov did NOT use the wagons on the first part of his journey. Why didn’t he?

Rav Yehoshua Leib Diskin explained this beautifully. On his way to Be’er Sheva, Yaakov was not certain that he was going to go to Egypt. He was concerned about the bad influence that the Egyptians would have on his descendants. Yaakov felt that if he would not be going to Egypt it wouldn’t be appropriate to use Pharaoh’s wagons on the first part of his journey. After all, they were sent only for the express purpose of enabling him to travel to Egypt. When Yaakov arrived in Be’er Sheva, Hashem appeared to him and told him not to worry and that he should go to Egypt. Once Hashem told Yaakov to go, he used Pharaoh’s wagons to transport his family. As soon as Yaakov was certain that he would be going to Egypt it was appropriate to use Pharaoh’s wagons.

When Rabbi Yaakov Kaminetsky was a student, the custom was to eat meals in other people’s homes. One Pesach, he received an invitation. The problem was that he was not certain he could rely on that person’s level of kashrus for Pesach. It was a delicate situation. He didn’t want to go yet he also didn’t want to hurt the person’s feelings. He thought of a great idea. He explained to his prospective host that his custom was not to eat gebrokts whereas this host did eat gebrokts (some people have the custom on Pesach not to wet their matza. For example, they don’t put their matzah in soup or eating matzo balls). His plan succeeded, and he did not hurt his host’s feelings. However, since Rabbi Kaminetsky had declared this as his custom, he adopted the custom for the rest of his life! From that point on and no longer ate gebrokts on Pesach.

Acting with honesty is more than just a nice thing to do; it is obligatory!

Parshas Mikeitz

He Already Had the Needle in His Arm!

“Then Pharaoh sent and called Yosef and they quickly brought him out of the dungeon… and he came to Pharaoh.” (Bereishis 41:14)

When Pharaoh heard that Yosef could interpret dreams, he sent for Yosef. Yosef was quickly taken from prison and led before Pharaoh. The Chofetz Chaim notes that when the time came for Yosef to be freed, he wasn’t freed slowly. The pasuk does not say that Yosef was taken out of prison. Rather, he was rushed-out, very quickly. When the time that was determined by Hashem for Yosef‘s freedom came, not one moment was lost; Yosef was freed instantaneously. He didn’t remain in prison even one second longer than necessary.

The same thing happened when the Jew left Egypt. Once the decree had ended, Hashem didn’t want the Jews to remain in Egypt for one extra second.

In a similar vein, when the time for the Final Redemption comes, we will be redeemed immediately, without even a one second delay. We will be “rushed out” of exile just as Yosef was “rushed out of prison”.

This is an important outlook to be aware of in our daily lives. We must never despair a difficult situation. We should always feel encouraged that a stressful situation can change for the better in an instant, in the blink of an eye.

On Oct. 4, 1983, in a state prison in Huntsville, Texas, it looked as if James David Autry was about to die. He had been sentenced to death for a 1980 double murder.

That morning, Autry awoke before dawn to begin the ritual of execution. He was handcuffed, placed in the warden’s car and driven 13 miles away to another prison in Huntsville. Then, at about midnight, after a last meal, he was strapped onto a stretcher, and a needle was inserted into his arm. Prison officers waited for the order to administer a deadly dose of chemicals. How do you think Autry felt, knowing he was minutes or just seconds away from death?

Yet, about 30 minutes later, the prison officers received a phone call, informing them that the U.S. Supreme Court had stayed Autry’s execution for 30 days. He was temporarily given a new lease on life.

Our rabbis tell us that even if a sword is resting upon our necks and all seems hopeless, we must never give up. We must continue to have faith and trust in Hashem. The entire picture can change in a moment.

Parshas Vayeshev

Remove the Blindfold and Feel the Love!

“… a caravan of Ishmaelites came from Gilad, with their camels carrying spices …going to bring them down to Egypt…” (Bereishis 37:25)

One of the Indian tribes had a specific ritual of manhood. When a young boy would pass the “test” he would be considered a Man and would receive certain benefits as well as responsibilities. The “test” was to remain alone in the forest, blindfolded, while sitting on a tree stump. If the young man would leave the forest or remove the blindfold, he failed the test. The young man was not allowed to tell any specific details of the test to anyone!

One youngster was in the middle of his test. The forest was cold. The sounds of the animals nearby, scared him. They scared him a lot. However, he wanted to be considered a man, so he fought off the urge to remove his blindfold. Somehow, he managed to pass the night. When he felt the heat of the sun on his face and heard the sounds of the chirping birds, he knew that it was morning. He felt proud that he passed the test. When he removed the blind-fold he was shocked. He saw that his father was sitting nearby. Apparently, his father had been there the entire night, watching so that no harm befalls his son.

Hashem is like the loving father in this story. Even though we may not be aware of it, Hashem is always watching us, to protect us.

There is a beautiful poem called Footprints in the Sand:

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with G-D. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.

This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to G-D,

“You promised me G-d, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”

G-d replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”

We all experience periods of suffering and anguish in our lives. Knowing that Hashem is always watching over us is comforting and can help us rise to life’s challenges [Hashem, our loving Father, has a good and loving reason, unknown to us, for the suffering and challenges that we experience in life].

Sometimes Hashem also sends us signals that He is there with us so that we shouldn’t be nervous. Yosef was sold to a caravan of Ishmaelites. Their camels were carrying various nice smelling spices.

Rashi questions why the Torah felt it necessary to tell us what the camels were carrying. Who cares? Rashi explains that these caravans usually carried oil and resin that had an unpleasant odor. Being around that smell for an extended time could be injurious to Yosef’s health as well as be uncomfortable for him.

Yosef was being sold as a slave. Why would it make a difference what the camels were carrying? Rabbi Mordechai Porgaminsky from Telz explained that this was a signal from Hashem to Yosef. It was as if Hashem was telling him, you were sold as a slave, but I, Hashem, am watching you and helping you along the way. I made sure that these Ishmaelites would carry something they never do, to protect your health.

We should always look for signals from Hashem. Our sorrows and troubles in life will be easier to manage when we realize that Hashem is always with us, holding our hand.

Parshas Vayishlach

Our Not So Secret Weapon for Victory

“And Yaakov was left alone, and a man wrestled with him until dawn.” (Bereishis 32:25)

In this week’s Parsha, we have the famous wrestling match between Yaakov and a stranger. Rashi says that this stranger was the guardian angel of Esav. Each nation has its “guardian angel” and this was Esav’s angel. The commentaries also explain that the guardian angel of Esav is the same as Satan and the Evil Inclination – They are all ONE and attempt to turn us away from serving Hashem.

The Chofetz Chaim poses a very interesting question. Why did Esav’s guardian angel wait so long before his attack; Why didn’t he fight against Avraham or Yitzchok? Why did he first attack Yaakov?

The Chofetz Chaim says, we know that Avraham was the pillar of chesed, of kindness. Yitzchok was the pillar of service to Hashem. Yaakov was the pillar of Torah. Satan could tolerate the kindness of Avraham and the service to Hashem of Yitzchok. However, Yaakov ‘s Torah could not be tolerated. Yaakov had to be attacked to fight this terrible threat to Satan.

We are all aware of the importance of chesed and service to Hashem. We see from the Chofetz Chaim, the vital importance of learning Torah. It is our Torah learning that combats and counteracts Satan’s attempts to drag us down, spiritually. When we strengthen our Torah learning we weaken Satan.

During the Roman control of the Land of Israel, they forbade the performance of many mitzvos. They outlawed the teaching and learning of Torah. Rabbi Akiva ignored the edict. He was eventually caught and tortured to death. When his students asked him to stop his Torah learning, he told them a parable. A fox was sitting by the seashore, observing the fish swimming to and fro. He asked the fish what they were doing. They replied that they were swimming in different directions to escape the fishermen’s nets. The crafty fox told them to come to dry land where they will be saved from the nets. The fish laughed at the fox’s silly idea saying that if we come ashore we will certainly die. We must be in the water to live. We will just keep trying to avoid the fishermen’s nets. Rabbi Akiva said that just as fish need water to live, so too do Jews need Torah to live. Torah is our source of life.

We should all try to increase our Torah learning as much as we can.
That will bring us closer to Hashem and will weaken our adversary and enemy, Satan.

Parshas Vayetzei

Priceless!

“Yaakov kissed Rochel and lifted his voice and cried.” (Bereishis 29:11)

Yaakov arrived in Padan Aram and met his future wife, Rochel, for the first time. His initial reaction was surprising – he cried. Why?

Rashi explains, Yaakov felt bad that he had arrived empty-handed, without jewelry and presents to give to Rochel. Why was he empty-handed? Esav had sent his son, Elifaz, to catch Yaakov and kill him. Elifaz had grown up under the positive influence of his grandfather, Yitzchak, and couldn’t bring himself to commit murder. Elifaz asked Yaakov if there was any way he could possibly fulfill his father’s wishes to do the mitzvah of kibud av. Yaakov advised him to take-away his wealth, as a poor person, in some way, is considered dead (since he can’t support himself properly or help others). In this way it would be as if Elifaz followed his father’s wishes and killed Yaakov.

The Rabbainu Tam from Orleans asked, if a father tells a child to sin, the child is not obligated to listen. If so, why did Elifaz bother to look for a way to fulfill his father’s wishes? He wasn’t obligated to fulfill them?

Rabbainu Elyakim answers that Elifaz asked Yaakov if there was any possible way to fulfill his father’s wishes, without acting against the Torah.

We see the appreciation Elifaz had for the value of a mitzvah. He could have ignored his father’s request, which was against the Torah. Instead, he tried to find a way to fulfill his father’s wishes in a permissible way.

Harav Henach Leibowitz zt”l highlights another very interesting point from this: Observe Yaakov’s actions. He was willing to give away all his money to enable another person to fulfill some small part of a mitzvah.

Rabbi Pesach Krohn has an interesting story about the value of a mitzvah.

Once there was a young boy who grew up in a very poor family, in Israel. One afternoon he went walking and noticed a gold coin on the street. The coin was so valuable that it could have provided this boy’s family food for an entire month. However, it was Shabbos, so the boy could not pick up the coin. He put his foot on the coin, determined to remain that wait until Shabbos ended, when he would be permitted to take the coin. He waited that way for a few hours until an Arab youth pushed him off the spot and took the coin. The Jewish child was devastated. When the boy’s rav heard what had happened, he asked the boy to come to his house after Shabbos. When he did, the rav took a gold coin, just like the one that the boy had found, out of his desk drawer. He offered the coin to the boy. In exchange he wanted the boy to give him his reward for keeping Shabbos despite the great temptation of a large sum of money. The boy thought for a moment and said, “If the reward for my mitzvah is so great (that the rav offered a valuable gold for it) then it is not for sale”. Whereupon the boy left the rav’s house with a greater appreciation of the value of a mitzvah.

The reward for each and every mitzvah that we do is priceless, beyond our imagination.

Parshas Toldos

If At First You Don’t Succeed, Try Again!

“And Yitzchok’s servants dug… and found a well of water. And the herdsmen of Grerar… said, ‘the water is ours’…. And Yiztchok’s servant dug another well, and they also fought over that… And Yitzchok’s servants dug another well, and the herdsmen of Grerar didn’t fight over that.” (Bereishis 26:19-22)

Yitzchak’s servants dug in the valley and found there a well of fresh water.

The psukim here are puzzling. First the Torah tells us that Yitzchok dug a few times until he found water. When the ownership of those wells was disputed, he dug others until he found water. Why does the Torah give a lengthy description of Yitzchok‘s attempts to find water?

The Chofetz Chaim explains that the Torah is teaching us a very important lesson from this:

NEVER GIVE UP! When you start something, don’t give up because you run into difficulties. This applies to both material and spiritual matters. Be persistent when things don’t go the way you want. If at first, a business venture doesn’t work as planned, don’t give up, right away. Try again. If learning Torah is difficult at first, don’t give up! Keep trying and persisting. Often, the reason for failure is that you gave up too soon. If you are determined and keep trying, there is a greater likelihood you will succeed.

Many of the most successful people in the world, whether they are businessmen, sports figures, or just ordinary people all encountered difficulties before their accomplishments. Had they given-up after their initial failure, they would not have achieved their triumphs.

In the early 1800’s, there was a young boy who was not trying hard enough in Yeshiva. His parents tried, without success, to encourage him to put more effort into his Torah learning. Finally, in despair, the boy’s parents decided to take their son out of Yeshiva and send him to learn a trade. When their son overheard what they said, he burst out crying and begged for one more chance. He was given the chance, became more serious, and learned very well. This boy became the great Torah luminary known as Rav Naftoli Tzvi Yehudah Berlin; the Netziv. The Netziv was Rosh Yeshiva of the famed Volozhin Yeshiva for almost 40 Years!

NEVER GIVE UP! YOU CAN SUCCEED IF YOU KEEP TRYING!

Parshas Chayei Sarah

I Am Sorry I “Bothered” to Help You!

“And Avraham rose up from before his dead…” (Bereishis 23:3)

The Midrash describes a fascinating event. While Avraham was mourning for Sarah, Satan appeared before him to battle against him. “You [Avraham] caused Sarah’s death!” “Had you not brought Yitzchak to be sacrificed, your wife, Sarah, would still be alive!” Satan blamed Avraham for the untimely death of Sarah!

What was Satan’s goal in saying this to Avraham? He wanted Avraham to feel personal guilt for Sarah’s untimely death. He wanted Avraham to regret that he brought Yitzchak to be sacrificed.

As soon as this happened, Avraham stopped sitting shiva for his wife! Avraham was concerned that if he would continue to mourn for Sarah, he may begin to believe the claim of Satan that he was responsible for his wife’s death.

This Midrash is astonishing. How could Avraham possibly have felt regret for what he did? He happily went to fulfill Hashem’s request. Certainly, he felt joy after passing this test of faith and receiving a multitude of eternal blessings from Hashem. “…I will surely bless you and greatly increase your offspring like the stars of the heavens and like the sand on the seashore; and your offspring will inherit the gate of its enemy. And all the nations of the earth shall bless themselves by your offspring…”. The magnitude of these blessings clearly proved that Avraham acted correctly in bringing his son to be sacrificed. [Hashem never intended him to sacrifice his son but merely to show his willingness to do so].

Furthermore, Avraham totally believed that everything that occurs is from Hashem. It was clearly Sarah’s time to die. Her death had nothing to do with the news that Yitzchak was almost sacrificed. Otherwise Hashem would not have allowed it to happen.

Rav Henach Leibowitz zt”l explained, that even though Satan’s claim was baseless and foolish, during Avraham’s period of sadness and internal turmoil over his wife’s death, there was the slimmest of possibilities that Satan’s words would affect him ever so slightly. This could have resulted in an ever so slight feeling of regret for what he did. Therefore, Avraham stopped doing the mitzvah of sitting shiva to ensure that Satan would not gain a foothold into attempting to make him regret his actions.

Satan is our worst enemy, devising numerous battle plans against us. First, he tries to stop us from doing a mitzvah. He tried to stop Avraham from going to sacrifice Yitzchak by asking him, “Are you certain that Hashem made this request? Maybe you imagined it?” When that wasn’t successful, Satan turned himself into a river to try to block Avraham from going. That too didn’t work.

Satan’s next tactic is to make us feel regret for doing the mitzvah to minimize the reward we receive for that mitzvah. Satan tried to minimize Avraham’s great reward by attempting to make him feel a twinge of regret for his action. Avraham was so concerned lest this monumental mitzvah be diminished, that he stopped sitting shiva for Sarah.

We must constantly be on guard against the wily Satan, both before and after doing a mitzvah. How many times do we do a mitzvah but regret it afterwards? I opened my home to you, but you didn’t show me appreciation – I am sorry I welcomed you; I helped you, but you didn’t say thank you – I am sorry I helped you. The regret we feel afterwards takes away something from the value of the mitzvah.

We must be especially careful when we are sad or upset to be on guard against Satan.
We must cherish our mitzvos and never regret doing them.

Based in part from Sefer Chidushei Halev by Rabbi Binyamin Luban

Parshas Vayeira

Save the Other Half of the Blanket!

“And Hashem appeared to him [Avraham] in the Plains of Mamre…” (Bereishis 18:1)

Rashi is bothered by the following question: Why was it necessary for the Torah to specify that Hashem appeared to Avraham in the Plains of Mamre? We already know from last week’s parsha where Avraham was!

Rashi answers that the Torah wanted to give Mamre special mention and special credit for advising Avram about the Bris Mila.

The Da’as Zekanim quotes a Midrash that asks, how is it possible that such a great tzadik, as Avraham, who passed all of Hashem’s tests without needing advice, should suddenly need advice when it came to doing the Bris Mila?

The Da’as Zekanim answers that Avraham was not asking for advice if he should do the Bris Mila. Certainly, he would do it. He just wanted a suggestion how to encourage his household to perform this special mitzvah since they had initially refused (Hashem had commanded that Avraham, his family, and his household perform a Bris Mila). Mamre advised Avraham that first he should perform the Bris Mila on himself and his son Yishmael. When Avraham’s household would see that he did it, they too would follow suit. The suggestion worked, and they accepted the mitzvah of Bris Mila upon themselves.

We see a beautiful lesson from this Midrash: To encourage a specific action, teach by example. Don’t ask someone to act one way while you, yourself, act the opposite.

The way to teach a child to act with respect, to love mitzvos, to pray with concentration… is by setting an example and acting that way ourselves.

A couple was once discussing what to do with an elderly parent who lived with them and they no longer wanted to “bother” to care for. They decided to send him to a nursing home, along with a special, warm blanket. Their young son, hearing their decision, burst into the room, unhappily. He loved his grandfather and was unhappy with their decision. He told his parents to save one half of the blanket. When his parents questioned him, he explained that he wanted to have something to give them when they got old and he sent them away.

What a powerful, negative lesson this boy’s parents were teaching him through their example. What a powerful lesson the son was teaching them with his response.

What message are we sending to others by our actions? Are we asking them to act one way while we act differently?

As parents, what lessons and messages do we want to give to our children? Do we want them to act one way while we, ourselves, at times, act in just the opposite way?

We teach by example. May Hashem bless us with family and friends who follow the proper example and remain on the true path of closeness with Hashem.