Parshas Vayishlach

Follow the Camels!

“Thirty nursing camels with their colts; forty cows and ten bulls,…” (32:16)

The following story was said over in the name of Rebbetzin Kanievsky.

A girl in Haifa had been diagnosed with stomach cancer. The doctors said that there was nothing more they could do to help her. The girl and her parents pleaded with the doctors to try. The doctors finally agreed and told her to come back the next day for surgery. She was assigned a young, inexperienced surgeon. The doctors felt it would be good practice for him, and since there was nothing that could help her, it didn’t really matter.

The night before the surgery, this non-religious girl pleaded with Hashem. She said that she wanted to offer a korban to Hashem. She went to her closet and took out all her immodest clothing and took it out to the yard and burned them. As her clothes went up in flames, she cried out, “This is my korban!”

The next day the girl went to the hospital and had the surgery. The tumor was easily removed, and it was benign. The doctors were shocked at the outcome.

Why did she merit a miracle?  Was it because of her heartfelt prayers or her difficult and personal sacrifice to get rid of her immodest clothing? 

The miracle didn’t end here. When the girl told all her non-religious friends about the miracle, they brought over all their immodest clothing and made another fire to burn their clothes. The girls went to the mall to buy new clothes. While they were inside, buying new, modest clothing, a car packed with over 200 pounds of explosives was detected,

underneath the mall. The explosives were defused before anyone inside the mall got hurt.  Was it merely a coincidence that the terrorist’s car was detected or was it a reward because of the girls’ sacrifice to wear modest clothing?

In this parsha, Yaakov sent as a present, droves of animals to appease Esau. Each species had the appropriate number of males and females to properly breed. The psukim describe the numbers of females and males of each species that was sent. However, when it lists the number of camels, the Torah conspicuously does not mention the males. Why not? Rashi says the reason is because the camels show tzinus, modesty, when they mate. The Midrash Lekach Tov (written by Tobias ben Eliezer in the 11th Century) explains that unlike other animals, camels will not mate in front of people. Therefore, the Torah lists the gift of camels in a modest way. It lists the number of females, only inferring the number of male camels. That was done to acknowledge the camel’s own modest behavior.

Acting with tznius is a hallmark of a Jew. As we see in the story above, it can bring blessings into our lives.

Parshas Toldos

Can We Bottle This Fragrance?

“…and he [Yitzchak] smelled the fragrance of his [Yaakov’s] garments and blessed him.” (Bereishis 27:27)

As Yitzchak felt he was nearing death, he wanted to bless his firstborn son, Esau. Yitzchak was unaware that Yaakov had previously purchased the rights of the firstborn from Esau, whose revolting behavior made him undeserving of the blessings. Yitzchak’s wife, Rivka, had received a prophecy from Hashem that Yaakov was the one who deserved the brachos. She commanded Yaakov to go in Esau’s place to receive the brachos. She prepared a meal for Yaakov to bring to Yitzchak. She also told Yaakov to wear goat skins on his arms so that they would appear as if they were full of hair, as Esau was very hairy.

Rashi says that the smell of washed goatskins is very repulsive. How can the pasuk tell us that Yitzchak smelled a beautiful fragrance? Rashi answers that the smell of Gan Eden entered with Yaakov and that is what Yitzchak smelled.

The Midrash gives a beautiful explanation. Instead of reading the word as begadav, garments, it can be read as bogdav, those Jews who rebelled against or betrayed Hashem. It was this special fragrance that Yitzchak smelled.

How could a beautiful smell come from the deeds of those who rebelled against Hashem? The Midrash continues, giving a specific example. During the Roman destruction of the Second Beis Hamikdash, there was a Jew by the name of Yosef Me’shisa, who collaborated with the Romans. After the destruction, the Romans wanted a Jew to be the first to enter the Beis Hamikdash to plunder the holy vessels. They asked Yosef and offered him that he could keep whatever he selects. Yosef did so and exited with the golden menorah. When the Romans saw the beautiful menorah, they told Yosef that this item was too special for him and that he couldn’t keep it. They told him to go back inside and take something else. Surprisingly, Yosef refused to go in a second time. A transformation had come over him. The Romans offered to give him three years of royal taxes if he would go in again. Yosef refused saying, “Is it not enough that I have angered my G-D once that I should now anger Him a second time?” The Romans then tortured Yosef to death. As he was dying, he cried out, “Woe is to me that I have angered my Creator!” Yosef died, doing complete repentance.

Rabbi Henach Leibowitz zt’l questioned what brought about such a dramatic change in Yosef. One moment he was collaborating with the enemy and the next moment he willingly gave up his life rather than anger Hashem again. The answer is the “pintle neshama” that every Jew has. Every Jew has a spark of holiness within him that could ignite at any moment. Even the lowest Jew has that spark of holiness within him. That spark can be ignited and uplift even a traitorous Jew into one who is willing to sanctify his life for Hashem.

This was the beautiful fragrance that Yitzchak smelled. The inherent beauty of every Jew to go from the lowest of the low to scale great heights.

Every Jew has within him a spark of holiness that can never be extinguished. One should never give-up hope on any Jew, no matter how low he has fallen. Even the biggest sinner can suddenly rise to the greatest heights in an instant, seemingly without any explicable reason.

Parshas Chayei Sarah

The Recipe for Happiness During Challenging Times

“And the life of Sarah was one hundred years and twenty years and seven years. These were the years of the life of Sarah.” (23:1)

All that Hashem does is good. Although we can’t always see it with our own eyes, one day we will understand why certain things had to happen.

Rudolf Vrba worked in the death camp of Auschwitz. He took precise notes of the atrocities that were being done and wanted to escape to prove to the world what was going on. One day, he hid underneath a very large pile of wooden boards, together with his friend, Alfred Wetzler. When their escape was noticed, a massive search broke out. They hid there in panic, not eating and barely sleeping. With just a few hours left until the search would be over, two German soldiers decided to check under their pile of wood. The soldiers began removing the boards. As the soldiers began lifting the last layer of boards, the dinner bell rang. One soldier told the other, “Let’s just finish this first, then we’ll go.” But the other one said, “If we don’t go right now, there won’t be any food left for us.” They left and never came back.

After three full days without food, Rudolph and Alfred were almost too weak to lift the remaining boards that covered them. With one last attempt, they just managed to move them. Miraculously, they escaped. The report they presented on the atrocities that took place in Auschwitz, is credited with saving tens of thousands of Jews from death.

When the two Germans initially removed the layers of wood, it appeared that Rudolph and Alfred would be found and killed. However, had the Germans not removed most of the boards, Rudolph and Alfred certainly would have been too weak to lift the entire pile.  They survived only because the Germans had removed them. (from Daily Emunah by Rabbi David Ashear)

Rashi questions the end of the pasuk, wondering why the Torah repeated, “These were the years of the life of Sarah”. Rashi explains the Torah is teaching us that all the years of Sarah’s life were equally good. Rabbi Naftoli Tzvi Yehudah Berlin zt”l, in his commentary Ha’emek Davar, says that Rashi is telling us Sarah felt joy and happiness all the years of her life.

How can Rashi say that Sarah felt joy and happiness for every moment of her life? Didn’t she suffer throughout her life? She didn’t have a child for the first ninety years of her life. She felt the need to give her maidservant, Hagar to Avraham as a wife, hoping that she would bear him a child. Furthermore, when Hagar became pregnant immediately, she began to act disrespectfully to Sarah. Also, Sarah experienced famine and had to leave Eretz Yisroel. She was taken captive twice, once by Pharaoh and once by Avimelech. Only due to miracles was her purity protected. After she gave birth to Yitzchak, many people doubted that he was genuinely her child. Sarah also had the challenge of sending Yishmael out of her house to prevent him from negatively influencing Yitzchak. Was this this good life that Sarah had experienced?!

Rabbi Naftoli Tzvi Yehudah Berlin zt”l explains, that Sarah had a very strong faith and trust in Hashem. That enabled her to feel joy and happiness for her entire life.

This is a powerful lesson for us. We all experience difficulties and challenges throughout our lives. At times, it may seem as if we are in total darkness and are totally abandoned. In reality, we are not. Hashem loves us immensely and only wants to give us goodness and happiness. What appears as a challenge today, may be the source of our salvation tomorrow.

Parshas Vayera

A Recipe for a Happy Marriage!

“And they [the 3 angels] said to him [Avraham], ‘Where is Sara your wife?’ And he said, ‘She is in the tent’”. Bereishis (18:9) “And Hashem said to Avraham, “Why did Sara laugh, saying ,’Can I in truth bear a child when I am so old’?”

Yosef and Sara were very poor. The only real meal that they ate the entire week was on Shabbos. One Friday night, as Sara was bringing the food to the table she slipped. All the food spilled to the floor and could not be salvaged. Sara was so sad that she stayed on the floor, with her head down, ready to cry. She felt, how could she look at her husband’s face when she just ruined ALL their food.  There was no more food to bring in from the kitchen.  As she sat on the floor, her husband started singing Aishel Chayil (“a Woman of Valor” a special song many husbands sing to their wives on Friday night). Yosef sang the song slowly and with love in his voice. Sara looked up and smiled. Yosef’s reaction could have been to tell his wife to be more careful or even to just show her a sad face. Either reaction would have been a normal response. Yet, either action would have also made Sara feel bad and sad. Instead, Yosef IGNORED what had happened and didn’t even show any displeasure. He changed the uncomfortable moment to one that made his wife feel happy and loved. He built and strengthened their relationship instead of somewhat weakening it. There was something that Yosef and Sara had wanted very much and for which they had davened to Hashem repeatedly. After this incident of inner greatness, Yosef’s prayers were answered.

The three guests asked Avraham where his wife was. Rashi quotes the Talmud as saying that the guests knew where Sara was. They knew that she remained in her tent, due to modesty. If so, why did they ask Avraham where she was? They wanted to emphasize her modesty to Avraham.  They wanted him to feel good about his wife’s modesty and further endear her to him.

Rabbi Henach Leibowitz zt”l pointed out the following. Avraham and Sara had been married for many years.  They already had a close relationship with each other. Yet, the first words the angels said were meant to endear Sara to Avraham even more. How much more could their words have made a difference in Avraham’s relationship with Sara? Especially since Avraham already knew that Sara was a tznua, a very modest woman (see Rashi, perek 12 pasuk 11). We learn from this episode a fundamental principle in the relationship between husband and wife (or in the relationship of any two people who are close to each other). Every positive comment, albeit small, can affect a relationship.  Even a strong, loving relationship can be enhanced by a compliment made about a spouse or to a spouse.

A few p’sukim later Hashem asked Avraham why Sara laughed at the news that she would have a child, saying that she was too old. Rashi quotes the Talmud as saying that Hashem changed her statement for the sake of maintaining peace. Sara had actually said that she was too old, and that Avraham was also too old. When Hashem had repeated her words to Avraham, Hashem left out her words that her husband was also too old. This omission was considered a lack of truth and would have been forbidden if not for the fact that it was said to maintain peace. Rav Henach Leibowitz zt”l, again, pointed out that Avraham and Sara had a very close relationship with each other. Furthermore, obviously Avraham was very old and not likely to beget children. Also, Sara had said, “And my master [Avraham] is old”. She prefaced her comment about Avraham being aged with a term of total respect. Why did Hashem feel it necessary to modify her statement for the sake of maintaining peace? Again, we see a fundamental principle in the relationship between husband and wife. We see the importance of Shalom Bayis, a peaceful relationship. Even if the relationship is excellent, any small comment, even seemingly insignificant, can have an impact. Even such a small comment could have potentially made a tiny impact on the peaceful relationship between Avraham and Sara.  That is why Hashem omitted those words from Sara’s initial statement.

We must be so sensitive to the feelings of others. Even a small, negative comment can hurt another person’s feelings. On the other hand, every smile or compliment can make someone else feel good. Our actions and words make such a difference to others!

Parshas Lech Lecha

Let’s Not Lose Focus of our Goals!

“And when Avram heard that his relative [Lot] was taken captive, he armed his disciples…“ (Bereishis 14:14)

Rabbi Yosef Leib Bloch zt”l, former Rosh Yeshiva of Telz, has a beautiful parable illustrating the importance of focusing our lives on spiritual goals rather than on the accumulation of material wealth.

An Israeli tourist was traveling to America by boat. He carefully prepared for the trip, including buying a map and studying the cities at which the boat would stop on the way. When the tourist realized that he would be stopping in France for a few days, he studied basic French during the two months prior to his trip. Shortly before he left, he remembered that his final destination was America. He had neglected to learn English and now it was too late. When the boat docked in France, he was able to converse in French. He was able to get change and get directions to the hotel. The other passengers were impressed with his cleverness and preparation. However, when the boat reached America, his final destination, the tourist was red-faced with embarrassment. He was totally unprepared. He had prepared for the short stay, in France, but not for the long stay, in America. (based on a story in Rabbi Paysach Krohn’s book, The Maggid Speaks)

In Sefer Bereishis, there was a battle between four kings and five kings. The four kings were so powerful that they were victorious over the larger army of the five kings.  They even defeated giants. During that battle, they captured Avram’s nephew, Lot.

When Avram was informed, he rushed to save Lot. Avram went despite the fact that he was going to battle against the most powerful army of that time. He also went despite the fact that the army he was going to fight against was more numerous than his group. He went to battle along with 318 of his servants who grew up in his household (The Talmud, Nedarim 32B, says that only he and his servant Eliezer went to battle).

 According to Shmuel’s opinion in the Talmud (Nedarim 32B), before they left Avram showered his servants with lots of gold. Why did Avram do so? He didn’t want his servants to get distracted by the money from the spoils of battle. That would distract them from their mission of saving Lot’s life (see also Tosefos in Chulin 47B).

Rabbi Henach Leibowitz zt”l questioned why it was necessary for Avram to shower his servants with such wealth. They were ready to go to battle selflessly, risking their lives against enormous odds.  They grew up in Avram’s house and under his tutelage. They clearly understood that their goal was to save a life, and that time was of the essence. Every second of delay could mean the difference between life and death for Lot. Could the lure of money actually distract them and delay them from their lofty goal? The answer is yes! A person can get distracted, even momentarily and even from a life-saving mission. That is why Avram had to enrich them before they left.

Rav Yisroel Salanter was once in Paris. When asked why he was there, he responded in a way to teach a lesson. He said that he came from Vilna to Paris in order to have a button fixed on his coat. The questioner was amazed. You came so far just to fix a button? Rav Yisroel wondered why he sounded so surprised. Our souls came from a much further distance (from the heavens). Did it come so far for the sole purpose of being involved in insignificant matters, such as the pursuit of wealth and pleasure?

Why were we born and put on this world? Was it towards the goal of increasing wealth and pleasure? Or was it to learn Torah and perform mitzvos? Have we gotten distracted from our final destination (the World to Come) by focusing only on our temporary stopover (this world)?

Parshas Vayechi

YOU Did It, Now YOU Fix It!

“And Yaakov’s days were drawing near to death and he called his son Yosef and said to him, ‘…Do not bury me in Egypt.’” (Bereishis 47:29)

As Yaakov’s end was drawing near, he asked Yosef to bury his body in the Land of Israel.

Why did Yaakov specifically ask Yosef instead of asking all his sons?

Rashi answers that since Yosef was in a position of authority in Egypt, he had the ability to fulfill Yaakov’s request.

Abarbanel quotes the Midrash as saying, “a very beautiful reason”. The Midrash explains, Yosef was the one who sent for his father to come to Egypt and Yosef aided his coming. Yaakov commanded Yosef to return him to the place where he took him from. “It was as if Yaakov said, since you brought me here from the Land of Israel it is appropriate that you return my body there, after I die.”

It seems that the Midrash is saying that it was proper derech eretz (conduct), it was the right thing for Yosef, himself, to be the one to ensure that Yaakov’s body be returned where it came from.

Having derech eretz precedes learning Torah.

Moshe Rabainu asked the Jewish People if they would be willing to accept the Torah. They replied, certainly we will. Moshe reported their answer to Hashem. Hashem knows all-Why did Moshe have to report the answer if Hashem already knew it? Moshe was teaching a lesson in derech eretz. If someone sends you on a mission it is appropriate to report back to them, even if you are aware that they already know the answer.

Rav Yisroel Salanter (founder of the modern mussar movement) was invited to his student’s house for Shabbos. He asked the student to describe what his Shabbos meal was like. The student described the lengthy meal that was punctuated with much singing and many words of Torah. Rabbi Yisroel gave the student an unhappy look. At the Shabbos table, Rabbi Yisroel had a quick meal and said the grace after meals. The student was perplexed, wondering why Rabbi Yisroel did this. He followed Rabbi Yisroel as he entered the kitchen. The Jewish maid in the kitchen thanked Rabbi Yisroel and told him that she wished he would come every Shabbos. Apparently, she had to work very hard the entire Friday to prepare the house for Shabbos. The meal would last so long that she would be exhausted when she came home. She was so happy that this Friday night the meal ended much earlier. Rav Yisroel exhibited proper conduct. He sacrificed the additional holiness of much singing and words of Torah for the feelings and sensitivities of another person.

We always must consider the feelings and sensitivities of others who may be affected by our actions.

Parshas Vayigash

“Hold your Horses” on Those Wagons!

“And Yaakov left Be’er Sheva and his sons carried him… in the wagons which Pharaoh had sent to carry him.” (Bereishis 46:5)

In a previous parsha, Yaakov had exhibited a high level of honesty when he watched Lavan’s animals. Lavan had changed the details of Yaakov’s wages 10,000 times. Yet Yaakov continued to watch Lavan’s flocks as carefully as he could. He didn’t rationalize that if this is how my employer treated me then I don’t have to do my job carefully.

Here too, Yaakov teaches us the level of honesty that we must strive to follow. Pharaoh gave Yosef wagons to send back to the Land of Israel to transport Yaakov and his family to Egypt. Yaakov and his family travelled to Be’er Sheva. The pasuk does not mention Yaakov’s mode of transportation. Only after Yaakov left Be’er Sheva to go down to Egypt does the pasuk mention that Yaakov travelled in the wagons that Pharaoh had sent. Apparently, Yaakov did NOT use the wagons on the first part of his journey. Why didn’t he?

Rav Yehoshua Leib Diskin explained this beautifully. On his way to Be’er Sheva, Yaakov was not certain that he was going to go to Egypt. He was concerned about the bad influence that the Egyptians would have on his descendants. Yaakov felt that if he would not be going to Egypt it wouldn’t be appropriate to use Pharaoh’s wagons on the first part of his journey. After all, they were sent only for the express purpose of enabling him to travel to Egypt. When Yaakov arrived in Be’er Sheva, Hashem appeared to him and told him not to worry and that he should go to Egypt. Once Hashem told Yaakov to go, he used Pharaoh’s wagons to transport his family. As soon as Yaakov was certain that he would be going to Egypt it was appropriate to use Pharaoh’s wagons.

When Rabbi Yaakov Kaminetsky was a student, the custom was to eat meals in other people’s homes. One Pesach, he received an invitation. The problem was that he was not certain he could rely on that person’s level of kashrus for Pesach. It was a delicate situation. He didn’t want to go yet he also didn’t want to hurt the person’s feelings. He thought of a great idea. He explained to his prospective host that his custom was not to eat gebrokts whereas this host did eat gebrokts (some people have the custom on Pesach not to wet their matza. For example, they don’t put their matzah in soup or eating matzo balls). His plan succeeded, and he did not hurt his host’s feelings. However, since Rabbi Kaminetsky had declared this as his custom, he adopted the custom for the rest of his life! From that point on and no longer ate gebrokts on Pesach.

Acting with honesty is more than just a nice thing to do; it is obligatory!