Parshas Ki Tetzei

I Accept All Challenges!

“And you will see amongst the captives a woman who is of beautiful form and you will desire her, you may take her to yourself as a wife” (Devarim 21:11)

I recently heard a Holocaust story. A young Jewish boy was put to work in the kitchen in the concentration camp. He was able to scrounge some food for himself. So, he did not starve. One day a German officer entered the kitchen and noticed the Jewish boy working. The German officer went into a rage, wondering why the boy had “such an easy job”. He gave the boy a hammer and told him to go outside and dig a ditch 6 feet by 6 feet. He told the boy that he would be shot if it was not completed in three hours. The boy went outside with just the hammer and no true digging tool. The ground was frozen solid. There was no way that the boy would be able to dig the required hole. This was an impossible challenge!

The Torah says, if a Jewish soldier desires a non-Jewish woman who was captured during war, he is permitted to take her as a wife. Before marrying her, the Jewish soldier had to bring her into his house where she had to mourn the separation from her parents for thirty days. He also had to cut off her hair and give her ugly clothes to wear. The purpose of that was to try to dissuade the soldier from marrying her. However, if he still wanted to marry her, then it was permitted.

Why does the Torah permit a Jew to marry a non-Jewish woman in this circumstance? [Obviously, she would first have to convert to Judaism. However, this was not the typical marriage of a Jew marrying a precious convert.] The Talmud (Kiddushin 21B) explains that the Torah understands the powerful yetzer hara, especially in time of war. The Torah gives special permission to marry this captive in a permissible way, to prevent the Jewish solder from sinning, and acting in an improper way.

When you stop to think about this special dispensation, it is truly astounding. Earlier (Devarim 20:8) the Torah tells us what type of person the Jewish soldier was. The pasuk says that if the soldier was “fearful”, he did not have to serve on the front lines. According to one explanation (quoted in Rashi), that means if the soldier was afraid that his own sins would cause him to be unsuccessful in battle, then he would not have to fight on the front lines. The Talmud (Menachos 36A) gives an example of the type of sin that the Torah is referring to. Even if the soldier had spoken between putting on his tefillin shel yad and his tefillin shel rosh, that would be considered enough of a sin to hold this soldier back from combat.

Rav Tzvi Pesach Frank zt”l says we see from this that the Jewish soldiers were truly righteous individuals. Would such a person be interested in marrying a gentile woman? Why does the Torah have to give this special dispensation for such a righteous individual? Rav Tzvi Pesach Frank points out that even totally righteous individuals can be tempted to sin, especially during a war.

Rabbi Yechezkel Abramsky zt”l learns an important life lesson from here. There are times that mitzvos can be very challenging for us. In the 1930’s it was exceedingly challenging to observe Shabbos in America. Many Jews were told that they had to work on Shabbos or lose their jobs. Without jobs, they would not have money to buy food for their family. Yet, the Torah does NOT give a special dispensation allowing one to work on Shabbos even if one would have to go hungry for a while.

Berel left his family behind, in the Ukraine, and boarded a boat to America. Upon his arrival in New York, he got a job pressing shirts. A few months passed. Berel realized that he would now need to leave work earlier on Friday afternoon, since sundown was getting earlier. On Friday, Berel told his boss that he would need to leave early. The boss threw Berel’s ironing board into the street and told him never to come back. Berel hurried into the street and retrieved his board. It was almost Shabbat. He had no time to take his ironing board to his boarding house before the onset of Shabbat. “I stood there in middle of the street staring at my only possible means to support my family, and wondered what I would do with it,” he would later tell. In desperation, he dashed into the nearest store and asked if he could please leave his ironing board there. When Shabbat ended, Berel retrieved his ironing board. As he was walking home, a man noticed him holding his ironing board and offered him a job, pressing clothing. The job paid more money than Berel’s old job and did not require him to work on Shabbat. Apparently, his old boss had been taking advantage of him by paying him less than the going rate.

“At that moment it struck me,” he would later tell his children. “If I would have kept my old job and worked on Shabbat, I would have lost not only my share in the World to Come, but my rightful portion of this world as well!” Berel passed his challenge and now his grandchildren, great-grandchildren and great-great-grandchildren keep Shabbat. (Based on the story Saved by Shabbat by Menachem Posner)

Rabbi Abramsky said that the only dispensation that the Torah gives is when a Jewish soldier sees a gentile woman during war. Clearly, the Torah acknowledges that this is the only time that it may be too difficult to withstand the temptation of the yetzer hara. However, any other challenge we can handle successfully. We CAN overcome the challenge to do any other mitzvah, no matter how difficult it may be!

(based on a dvar Torah by Rabbi Yissocher Frand in Rabbi Frand on the Parsha 2)

Sometimes we feel that a mitzvah is too challenging for us to do. That is 100% false!
While it may be difficult or challenging, it is not too difficult!
Hashem does NOT present us with a situation that is impossible for us!
Hashem only gives us challenges that we are able to pass.
We must strengthen ourselves and work hard, knowing that WE CAN DO IT!

Parshas Shoftim

Don’t Even Think about Doing That Again!

“Only he [the Jewish king] shall not keep many horses and not cause the people to return to Egypt to get many horses….” (Devarim 17:16)

There is a famous story about a wealthy Jewish rug merchant. He was enjoying his Shabbos meal with his family when he heard loud and persistent knocking at his door. It was the Sultan’s messengers. The Sultan was having a party and needed some expensive rugs, immediately. The merchant apologized that he could not do business on Shabbos. The messengers left, saying that the Sultan would not be happy. Sometime later, the messengers returned with a message from the Sultan. If the Sultan would not receive the rugs immediately, he would stop doing business with the merchant and would also encourage others to stop doing business with him. The merchant apologetically refused. The merchant’s wife and children were worried that the Sultan might harm him because of this refusal. The merchant said that it was Shabbos and they should not worry about it now. After Shabbos, the Sultan’s guards came to the merchant’s house to take him away. When he was escorted into the Sultan’s chambers, the Sultan was smiling. The Sultan had made a bet with the prince of another country that a Jew would not desecrate the Shabbos, even for money. The merchant’s refusal to desecrate Shabbos even under the threat of a large financial loss, allowed the Sultan to win his bet. The Sultan told the merchant that he would purchase more from him and encourage others to do so as well. The merchant’s refusal to desecrate Shabbos facilitated his getting more money than before.

In this week’s parsha, Hashem exhorts the Jewish king not to acquire too many horses. Egypt was known as the premier seller of fine horses and Hashem did not want any Jew to return to Egypt to purchase horses. The Chofetz Chaim zt”l  (Biuri HaChofetz Chaim al HaTorah by Rabbi Yisroel Braunstein) questions the wording of the pasuk. First the pasuk uses the plural for horses, “susim”, saying that the Jewish king should not acquire too many horses. The end of the pasuk uses the singular form, “sus”, that the Jewish people should not return to Egypt to get many horses.

The Chofetz Chaim explains that the Torah is teaching us a very powerful lesson in human nature. Generally, a person will not sin for a minimal gain. However, if the potential gain is great, the temptation to sin will be greater. For example, a person who observes Shabbos will not desecrate Shabbos for the benefit of gaining a few pennies. However, the temptation to desecrate Shabbos will be much greater for the benefit of gaining thousands of dollars. A person might be tempted to rationalize to himself and desecrate Shabbos.

The Chofetz Chaim continues, if a person does desecrate Shabbos because of the temptation of gaining thousands of dollars then he weakens his resolve of keeping Shabbos. In his mind desecrating Shabbos is no longer as terrible as he once felt that it was. He will more easily come to desecrate Shabbos. Our rabbis tell us, once a person sins and repeats the sin, the action becomes permissible in his eyes, “na’ase lo ke’heter”. Little by little, the importance of keeping Shabbos will become less and less until he will be willing to desecrate Shabbos even for the gain of a few pennies!

This is the lesson that the pasuk is teaching us. The Jewish king certainly will not send a fellow Jew back to Egypt just to purchase one horse. However, if the Jewish king desires and acquires too many horses then it will break-down his barrier, and he will now be willing to send Jews down to Egypt to purchase even a solitary horse.

The Talmud (Kedushin 40A) explains Rav Huna’s teaching. When a person transgresses and repeats his transgression, then it becomes as if it were permitted to him. He becomes accustomed to this behavior and no longer senses that it is a sin.

For this reason, Rabbeinu Yona of Gerona says (Shaarei Teshuvah) that one who sins should repent his sin as soon as possible. If he delays, then he will more easily succumb when the yetzer hara presents the same sin to him at another time. At that point, teshuvah will be more difficult because the sin becomes permissible in his eyes and he will not feel the need to repent.

There was a famous rabbi who fainted in shul when the gabbai announced that the month of Elul was approaching. The Rabbi felt the nearness of Rosh Hashana, the day that Hashem judges us.

The month of Elul is here. It means that Rosh Hashana is approaching. If we have not already done so, it is time to reflect on our actions. What needs improvement? How can we come closer to Hashem? Which sins do we have to quickly correct before we view them as permissible actions? To whom do we have to ask for forgiveness? How can we improve our relations with others?

May Hashem give us the strength to do teshuvah and may we all merit a year of health, and success.

Parshas V’eschanan

Loving Hashem Means Loving His Children and Getting Involved!

“And you shall love Hashem, your G-D with all your heart…” (Devarim 6:5)

Sholom lost his job. When his friend, Menashe, heard about it, he arranged for food to be delivered to Sholom. Then Menashe helped Sholom find another job. When Sholom’s car would not start, Menashe gave his car a boost. When Sholom had to go to the hospital, Menashe arranged childcare for Sholom’s family. Menashe cared so much for Sholom and took care of him. Sholom truly loved Menashe. At every opportunity, Sholom would tell others how special Menashe was.

The Chofetz Chaim zt”l says that it is a positive mitzvah to love Hashem with all your heart, soul, and resources. The Rambam says that this mitzvah comprises bringing others closer to Hashem; to serve Hashem and to believe in Hashem.  The Chofetz Chaim continues that, when you love someone, you praise him and encourage others to love him as well. This what our forefather Avraham did. Avraham loved Hashem and spent his life trying to bring others to an awareness and love of Hashem.

The Talmud (Gittin 55B) quotes a famous story. There was a wealthy man who lived at the time of the Second Temple. The Talmud does not tell us his name. This man had a close friend, Kamtza, and a bitter enemy named Bar Kamtza. He was having a party and instructed his servant to deliver an invitation to his good friend Kamtza. The servant mistakenly delivered the invitation to Bar Kamtza. Bar Kamtza assumed that he was purposely invited in an attempt at reconciliation (see the Maharsha). Thus, he went to the party. When the host saw Bar Kamtza, he flew into a rage and wanted to know why he had the audacity to come to his party, as they were hated enemies of one another. Bar Kamtza explained that the host’s servant had mistakenly invited him. The host did not care and ordered Bar Kamtza to leave immediately. Bar Kamtza, seeking to avoid humiliation, offered to pay for whatever he would eat at the party. When this offer was refused, he offered to pay for half of the party. When this was refused, Bar Kamtza offered to pay for the entire party! The host angrily turned this down as well, physically grabbed Bar Kamtza, and threw him out!

As the story continues, Bar Kamtza became very upset that the rabbis who were present did not intervene when he was humiliated. (The Maharsha gives two reasons explaining the rabbi’s inactions). Bar Kamtza responded by visiting the Roman Caeser and falsely accusing the Jews of rebelling against Rome. That led to a chain of events which ended with the destruction of the city of Jerusalem, along with the destruction of the Temple.

The Talmud blames the destruction of Jerusalem on the actions of Kamtza and Bar Kamtza. Bar Kamtza was the person who falsely informed on the Jews. Rabbi Yaakov Reischer zt”l,  in his commentary Iyun Yaakov, asks, what did Kamtza do!? Why was his name included as a villain? Furthermore, the party’s host was quite nasty.  Why wasn’t his name recorded, together with Bar Kamtza, as the ones who caused the destruction?

During this era, the Jews learned Torah and performed mitzvos. Unfortunately, they had sinas chinum. They felt unwarranted hatred to one-another. There was too much divisiveness. That hatred caused the destruction of the Temple.

Chacham Yosef Chaim Ben Yehoyada zt”l, known as the Ben Ish Chai, answers the Iyun Yaakov’s question. Rashi explains that Kamtza and Bar Kamtza were two people who were not related. The Talmud says that Kamtza was a “beloved friend” of the host of this party. As such, when he observed Bar Kamtza being publicly humiliated, he should have said something to his friend. He could have explained that this was an honest mistake. He could have said that Bar Kamtza only came because he thought that the host invited him to make peace (see Maharsha), so maybe the host should accept that offer of peace. Or perhaps he could have told the host that he was 100% correct but that he should not embarrass Bar Kamtza publicly. The point is that he was able to prevent this outrage, yet he did nothing! According to the Maharsha, Kamtza and Bar Kamtza were father and son. If so, Kamtza must have known the hatred that this host had for his son. Even before this party, he was obligated to try to end the strife and promote peace. Had he done so, then Bar Kamtza would not have been humiliated at the party and the catastrophic, ensuing events would not have occurred. Therefore, Kamtza was culpable and the devastating episode is also called in his name.

We often find ourselves in a position where we can be a peacemaker or help guide others to do the right thing. If we shirk our opportunity/responsibility, then we, too, are accountable for what happens. When we actively work at creating peace and bridging happiness, we are showing how much we love Hashem and His children.

Parshas Devarim

You Lose Some, You Win All!

“So I took the heads of your tribes, distinguished men who were wise and well-known, and I appointed them as heads over you: leaders of thousands, leaders of hundreds, leaders of fifties, leaders of tens, and officers for your tribes.” (Devarim 1:15)

Yitzchak was a shochet in a small town in Europe in the 1800’s. Once he questioned if the cow that he had slaughtered was kosher or treif. He asked the Rav of the town who told him that it was treif. Even though it was a large financial loss, Yitzchak accepted the ruling calmly. Sometime later, Yitzchak had a financial dispute with Yosef, another resident of the town. The dispute did not involve a large sum of money, but they did not resolve the dispute on their own. They went to the Rav who convened a bais din (a Jewish court of law). After they ruled against Yitzchak, he became furious, lost control, and screamed at the Rav. Even though the sum of money in question was relatively small, the idea of losing to someone else was too much for Yitzchak to bear.

When the Jews camped in the desert, after leaving Egypt, they were told to pitch their tents together with members of their own tribe. Shlomis was the only Jewish woman who had been violated by an Egyptian man. A dispute arose when her son wanted to pitch his tent with the tribe of Dan, the tribe of his mother. Another member of the tribe of Dan said that he was not permitted to camp there because his father was not from Dan. Instead of trying to work things out, the Jew from the tribe of Dan was quick to say that they had to go to Beis Din to settle the dispute. Beis Din ruled against Shlomis’ son. He responded by cursing, using Hashem’s holy name (for which he was punished).

The Da’as Zekanim (Shmos 24:11) brings a story from the Talmud (Pesachim 4A) about a person who, whenever he disagreed with someone, immediately suggested that he and his adversary bring the matter to court.  Rashi explains that for any monetary disagreement this person had, he would immediately say, “Let’s go to court”.

Eventually, people who knew him concluded that he must have descended from the tribe of Dan.  Our forefather Yaakov blessed the tribe of Dan, “Dan will judge his people …” (Braishis 49:16). The tribe of Dan had the tendency to take all their arguments to court and not listen to their peers.

Rav Henach Leibowitz zt”l says that this trait of Dan was a positive one.  Yaakov gave this blessing, having Shimshon (Samson) in mind. Shimshon came from the tribe of Dan. Yaakov’s blessing was that Shimshon would have strong convictions, uphold the truth, and be able to fight to the very end.  However, as with any trait, it can be used in a good way or in a bad way. One would think that it is good to have a desire for justice and to constantly want to go to Bais Din to follow their judgements. In reality, rushing to do this all the time is bad. Instead, a person should first try to settle his differences out of court. He should try to avoid arguments by respecting an opposing opinion and trying to work-out a compromise.

In this week’s parsha, Moshe repeated the guidelines used for instituting their judicial system. Moshe had changed the system at the suggestion of his father-in-law, Yisro. The Netziv, Rabbi Naftali Tzvi Yehudah Berlin zt”l quotes the Talmud (Sanhedrin 6B) that Moshe ruled court cases with strict justice, according to the law. As soon as Moshe heard both sides of the argument, he knew immediately who was in the right, and ruled accordingly. Yisro had suggested establishing a comprehensive court system, with many judges. The judges would often need time to analyze both sides before rendering their decision. That would allow time for compromise, to end the dispute. Yisro’s main intention was to establish a justice system based on the idea of compromise, enabling it to become a judgement of peace (See the commentary Harchev Davar on the pasuk, Shmos 18:23). Without compromise, the one who loses will often feel embittered towards the winner and towards the judges. Yisro’s system promoted peace since no one loses. Each side would feel that although he did not win, he also did not lose.

Rav Avrohom Pam zt”l (quoted in Rav Pam on Chumash by Rabbi Sholom Smith) quotes the Shulchan Aruch (Choshen Mishpat 12:2) that the Beis Din should always try to settle a case by negotiating a compromise. The Sma says that “The pursuit of peace is so important that it justifies a monetary concession”. The Shulchan Aruch prohibits a person to bypass the Jewish Beis Din in favor of a secular court, unless authorized by the Beis Din. Rav Pam zt”l  quotes Rabbi Akiva Eiger zt”l who rules that it is considered stolen property if a person is awarded money by a secular court which would not have been awarded him by the Beis Din. In fact, if one uses that money to betroth a woman, the marriage would be considered invalid!

The Bais Hamikdash was destroyed because of baseless hatred. Anything that we can do to minimize ill-feelings can make us feel happier and can also be the catalyst for the rebuilding of the Bais HaMikdash. When we have disagreements with others, be it friends, spouses, or business associates, we should try to compromise. By not “winning” the argument, we will be the true winners!

Parshas Ha’azinu

All Of Us Belong to This Club

[And Hashem said to Moshe…] “You shall die in the mountain that you are about to ascend…” (Devarim 32:50)

Shmuel & Chana owned a small food store. The store was filling with customers and Chana could not handle them all. Shmuel had gone to shul a few hours before and was not back yet. Some of the customers were already waiting in line for half an hour. Chana explained to one customer that Shmuel used to be in the store from early in the morning until late at night. He never used to take off time to daven in shul. However, last week he had told her, ‘Chana, I am an older man now. It’s time that I started preparing for the long trip ahead”. Since that time, he had been going to daven in shul and was away from the store every morning. When another customer said that davening had finished long ago, Chana got very concerned and rushed to the shul to see if her husband was okay. When she arrived, she saw that Shmuel was calmly sitting down and learning Torah. ‘Have you gone mad?! The store is filled with customers and you are sitting and studying?’ Shmuel calmly responded, ‘Just imagine that your greatest fears would have been correct and that the Angel of Death had come to take me away. Could you have told him that there is no time now because there is a store full of customers? Pretend that I am really dead. In a few hours I will miraculously return to life and come to help you in the store.’ (adapted from Give Us Life, Mesholim and Masterwords of the Chofetz Chaim by Mendel Weinbach)

Once a person dies, it is too late to do any more mitzvos. That realization is very painful to a person’s soul. The Chofetz Chaim zt”l says that many people sin because they don’t feel strongly enough that they will die. They feel that they don’t belong to the “club” of those people who will die. Therefore, they feel that there is no rush to accumulate as many mitzvos as possible. The Talmud (Shabbos 30A) relates that King David asked Hashem when he was going to die. He wanted to know which year, which month, and which day. Hashem refused to tell him. Then King David asked in which season he would die. Hashem refused that request as well. When King David asked to know at least on which day of the week he would die, Hashem told him that he would die on a Shabbos. Rabbi Shmuel Eidels, known as the Maharsha, explains why Hashem refused King David’s first two requests. Hashem has a decree not to divulge this information. One must do teshuva every second of his life because of the fear of impending death. If one knows the exact time of his death, he may sin his entire life and wait until close to his death before doing teshuva. King David’s last request was acceptable. Knowing on which day of the week he would die would not go against Hashem’s decree of not divulging the day of death. This way, at least every week King David would be involved in doing teshuva.

Rabbi Henach Leibowitz zt”l, highlights two points from this. How is Hashem’s decree about not revealing the specific time of death relevant to King David? Certainly, someone as great as King David would be constantly involved in teshuva every day of his life. Apparently, if he knew the exact time of death there could be the ever-slightest lack of intensity in his teshuva. By not having that information, his intensity would be total. Therefore, it was better for him not to know the exact time.

Furthermore, we would have thought that it would be beneficial to know the exact time of death. This would help people realize that they WILL die, that they DO belong to the “club” of those who die. We see from the Maharsha that this is not the case. We see that one can only use the knowledge and awareness of impending death effectively if it is uppermost in his mind, at all times. He must constantly be aware that death can come at any second. That will serve as in impetus to do teshuva. If he knows the exact time, he may be tempted to sin until right before that time

The world we live in is temporary. It is a preparation for the eternal world. Focusing on the unnerving fact that we WILL die, will motivate us to maximize the time that we do have. We will do more mitzvos and constantly do teshuva.

Parshas Vayelech

Don’t Ever Count Me Out! I May Be Down, But I am Not Out!

“And Hashem said to Moshe, ‘behold, your days are drawing near to die’.” Devarim (31:14)

On the last day of Moshe Rabeinu’s life, Hashem told him, “Behold your days are drawing near to die.”

The Midrash (9:6) says that Moshe was disturbed.  He wasn’t necessarily disturbed by the news that he was about to die. Rather, he was disturbed by the manner that Hashem told this to him. He was bothered that Hashem proclaimed his death with the specific word hen, behold. Moshe said to Hashem, “I praised you with the word hen, behold. How can You use that same word to decree my death?” The Midrash says that Moshe praised Hashem, “Behold! To Hashem your G-d, are the heaven and highest heaven, the earth and everything in it”. The Midrash compares this to a person who honored the king by giving him a gift of a sharp sword. The king then turned to his guards and said to cut off this man’s head with the very sword that he gave him as a gift. The man exclaimed in wonderment to the king, “You are cutting off my head with the object that I gave you to honor you?!”  This is how Moshe felt. Hashem answered Moshe’s question. “Don’t you remember that when I sent you to redeem the Jews from Egypt [you refused and] you said, ‘Behold they will not believe me, and they will not listen to my voice’?” Therefore, I am decreeing your death with the word hen, behold.

 By using the same word, to decree Moshe’s death, that Moshe had used many years earlier, Hashem was sending Moshe a subtle message. His words about the Jewish People were inappropriate. The Chofetz Chaim (Chofetz Chaim al HaTorah, Shmos 4:1) explains why it was improper. Hashem enlisted Moshe to tell Pharaoh and the Jewish People that it was time to redeem the Jews and take them out of Egypt. Moshe responded that the Jews will not believe him. (There are various explanations to explain why Moshe did not accept Hashem’s assurances that the Jews would listen to him.) The Jews had lived in Egypt, the most immoral country in the world, for over two hundred years.  The Jews who had been influenced by the Egyptians amongst whom they lived, had fallen to the 49th level of spiritual impurity (out of 50 levels). Moshe couldn’t fathom that the Jews would be receptive to him and that his mission would be successful. Moshe erred and exclaimed, “Behold” indicating that he was totally certain that the Jews would not believe him. He should have said that perhaps the Jews will not listen. Therefore, Hashem proclaimed his death with the word “behold” indicating that his death was also a certainty. This was a final “no” from Hashem to Moshe’s request that he be permitted to enter the Land of Israel.

Moshe had falsely suspected that the Jews would not listen to him. Hashem said that the Jews, despite their spiritual decline, were believers, the children of believers. (Talmud Shabbos 97b)

Moshe had underestimated the greatness and holiness inherent in the Jewish People. Even though it may not have been noticeable on the outside, their innate holiness was embedded deep in their hearts. No matter how low a Jew has fallen, one can NEVER give up on him! All it takes is something to ignite the spark of holiness that is found in every single Jew!

Never give up on a Jewish child. Even if he is a weak student or seems to be disinterested, he can succeed. Rav Pam says that often, it is the child who shows the least promise who is the one that succeeds the most since nothing stands in the way of one’s desire to succeed in spiritual matter.